It's still cold, but deliciously sunny today. If I can get motivated, I want to go out and do a little shopping. I'm due for a new pair of Wranglers, and I'm tempted to brave the Jesus store for a pronunciation dictonary.
Then I have these piles of laundry to go through. Not fun.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Holy War
Jodi called me the other day.
My sister and I haven’t spoken much over the last several years, and every time we do reminds me why it doesn’t happen more often.
Not only that, she had the nerve to call me at work. If she and I were close, she would have known how I felt about takin’ personal calls there. But she didn’t know, so she called me up and gave me the third degree.
Like my sister has any place giving me the third degree!
Maybe it wouldn’t have upset me so much if I hadn’t run into Ella Radford at the post office. I had some bills to mail, but no stamps, so I had to make a special trip on my lunch break. It didn’t come as any surprise that I see somebody I know at the post office—we do live in a small town, after all—but of all people, why did it have to be Ella? I tried to avoid her, but she spied me before I could get out the door.
“Jamie? Why Jamie Forrest! How are you doing today?”
“Just fine, Ella. How are you?”
“I’m just fine, sugar. How’s that boy of yours?”
“He’s all right, I guess.” I wasn’t about to let her know I hadn’t heard from Chad in over a year, much less why.
“That’s good to hear. I was talkin’ to Steven the other day, and he asked about him.”
Oh, no. Here it comes, I thought to myself.
“You know, Steven’s been doing so well since he moved to Houston. All that fussin’ and frettin’ we were doin’, and things are just going great for him.”
“Really? That’s wonderful!” Must be nice to have a son who turned out right. I know it’s a sin to be jealous of your neighbor, but this was just too much for me to help.
“Well, Jamie, I’ve gotta run. Got a million things to do today.”
“All right. Good seein’ you. Guess I’ll see you in church tomorrow night?” Like Ella Radford would miss being seen in church on Wednesday night for anything.
“You bet, sugar! I’ll see you later. Take care!”
With that, she was out the door, and all her saccharine sweetness with her.
I stood there in the lobby, my bills still in hand and my mouth growing tighter every second.
I know it ain’t right, her bein’ a friend and all, but sometimes that woman just makes me sick.
Ella was still on my mind when the phone rang.
“Good afternoon, Williamson Contracting, can I help you?”
“Jamie?”
I tensed at the sound of her voice. “This is Jamie.”
“Hey, sis. Jodi here. How’s it going?”
“Jodi, what are you doing? I can’t take personal calls here.”
“Sorry, sis, I just couldn’t wait.” Sis. We talk once or twice a year, and she acts like we’re the best of friends.
“Wait for what?”
“I saw Chad today.”
God, I prayed, give me strength. “You did, did you?”
“Yes. I did. He asked me if I heard from you or Tucker.”
“And you said?”
“I told him I hadn’t heard from you in a few months now.”
“Well, that’s the truth, I guess, isn’t it?” This was going somewhere eventually, and I could tell I wouldn’t like where it was going to end up. “So, where did you run into him?”
“I knew he was living here in Austin, so I looked him up and took him out to lunch.”
Leave it to my sister to conspire behind my back. “Jodi, what’s this all about?”
“Jamie, he’s my nephew. Just because you refuse to have any relationship with him, doesn’t mean I have to.”
“You know what? Fine. Do whatever you want. Just leave me out of it.”
“Jamie…”
“What?”
“He’s your son. Don’t you think this has gone on long enough?”
“You know what? You’re right. It has gone on long enough. You, him, the whole thing. Look, it isn’t my fault that the whole world has gone completely crazy. You and Chad may go on livin’ the way you do, but that doesn’t mean I have to give in and pretend there’s nothin’ wrong with it.”
“What’s wrong with it? Jamie, your son told you the truth. Would you rather he lived a lie?”
“He is living a lie, Jodi. He’s lyin’ to himself pretendin’ that it’s okay to be doin’ what he’s doin’.”
“Jamie. He told me he misses you. Tucker too.”
“Okay. You know what? I’ll tell you what you can tell him, Jodi. You can tell him, whenever he’s ready to turn his life around and be the man Tucker and I brought him up to be, we’ll be here. He knows where he can find us. You tell him that, all right?”
“C’mon, Jamie. You act like this is something he can change.”
“It is something he can change, Jodi. He can change it if he prays for it.”
“Here we go again.” My thoughts exactly, I wanted to say to my sister. “Listen, sis, when are you gonna get your head out of the sand?”
“My head ain’t in the sand, Jodi. It’s you who won’t face reality. I live my life in the fear of the Lord, and if you or Chad can’t deal with that, then you might as well just forget it!”
“You know what, sis? You’re right. Just forget it.” The phone clicked in my ear.
Mother just about died the first time Jodi got pregnant.
Two years into college, and she had to drop out and get a job so she could support the child. Now she has two kids and is living in sin with a man who is not their father.
I’ll never know how my parents managed. My sister and I grew up in a strict Southern Baptist home with old-fashioned values. Our father was the head of the house. Mother stayed at home, cooked, cleaned, and looked after Jodi and me when we got home from school. We were expected to get good grades, respect our elders, go to church, and avoid such things as smoking, drinking, loud music, and boys and girls who weren’t “brought up right.” These included Catholics and children whose parents didn’t go to church. Considering all this, I can understand how upset my parents were when Jodi turned out the way she did.
Even more so since the same thing happened to me. I figured, if I stayed in school and out of trouble, things would turn out all right for me. And at first they did. I married a good Christian man, settled down, and started a family. Tucker and I were married for two years when we had our son. After Chad was born, though, life began to turn out differently than I had expected. For one thing, we found out that I couldn’t have any more children. Then Tucker got laid off and had to take a job that didn’t pay so good. A friend of ours from church was a contractor, and I started working in his office to make ends meet. Still, we went to church every Sunday and Wednesday, and managed as well we could with our lives. It just doesn’t seem fair that so much went wrong when we thought we were doing everything right.
Steve Radford surprised his parents when he decided to move to Houston after graduating from high school. They had expected him to stay home and settle in town, like his two brothers had done. Ella had told me how much she worried about her youngest son living in “The Big City,” and Buck even bought him a revolver before he left home. A couple Saturdays before Steve was to move, Buck had come into the kitchen where Ella and their son were still eating breakfast.
“C’mere, son, I got somethin’ for you.”
Steve followed his father into the garage. Buck pulled a package out from under the workbench and handed it to his son.
“Your mother and I thought you might need a little…well, a little insurance when you moved to Houston.”
Steve opened up the package and pulled out the shiny black revolver.
“What’s this, Dad?”
“You know, son, your mother and I have been thinking a lot about this. You remember your uncle Jerry? The one that got shot in Houston back in ’78? Well, we were thinkin’ you oughtta have something to, well, we thought you oughtta have some protection. In case you needed it.”
“Dad, I’ve never fired a revolver before.”
“Nothin’ to it, Steven. Not a whole lot different from them shotguns you go huntin’ with.”
“I don’t know, Dad. A handgun—I mean, goin’ deer huntin’ is one thing, but this is for shootin’ people.”
“Don’t think of it that way, son. Think of it as a way to keep other folks from shootin’ you.”
“Dad, you’re not worryin’ about anything happenin’ to me like what happened to Uncle Jerry, are you?”
“Well, Steven, you never know. It’s a whole different world in the big city. Listen, it’s not like you’re gonna leave it lyin’ around or anything. You’re gonna keep it locked up and all. Just take it. It’ll make your mother and me feel a lot better, knowin’ you got something like that in case you ever need it.”
Ella told me that Steve did exactly that. When he moved to Houston, he locked up the gun, unloaded, and all but forgot he even had the thing. Truth be told, it wasn’t so much for his protection as their peace of mind. Buck and Ella were sure he would never need it, but it was a good thing to have if he ever did.
Turns out they didn’t need to worry much about him at all. Once Steve moved to Houston, he found himself a good church to go to on the north side of town, not far from the machine shop where he worked, and even bought himself a house through some man in the church he had met soon after joining. He kept himself so busy in that church that there never was any temptation to get into trouble, and besides that, Steve was the kind of young man who could be trusted never to get into that kind of trouble if he was tempted.
Sure wish I could say the same thing for Chad.
I still had the phone to my ear when Kelly Williamson came into the office.
“Someone on the phone?”
I looked at him blankly before registering what he was talking about. “What? Oh, no. No, Kelly. It was my sister.”
“Your sister? What was she doing callin’ up here?”
“She doesn’t know how I feel about takin’ personal calls at work.”
“No worry, Jamie.” It was more my policy than Kelly’s. Guess I felt guilty about how good he’d been to Tucker and me. “How is that sister of yours? I ain’t seen her in years.”
I really didn’t want to get into it all over again. “She’s all right, I guess. Just called to pick on me. You know how sisters are.” Kelly had two sisters, I knew he would understand.
“Yeah, Jamie, that is certainly something I do know.”
I sure was lucky to be working for a man like Kelly Williamson. He was a good Christian man, married to one of my old friends from school. He knew my sister, and he knew why we were at odds. He also knew about the hard times Tucker and I were going through, and he paid me more than he would have paid someone more qualified to run his office.
It was about quarter after five when I shut the lights off in the office. Kelly was under the hood of one of his dump trucks when I ducked my head in the shop.
“I’m gone if you don’t need anything else, Kelly.”
“That’s all right, Jamie. You have yourself a good night. And tell that husband of your’n I’ll be seein’ him tomorrow at church.”
“You got it, Kelly. Don’t stay too late.” He already had his head back under the hood, his arm went up in acknowledgment.
Men and their toys.
On the way home I got to thinkin’ about Jodi’s call, and that got me to thinkin’ about Chad. I missed my son, but in a way he wasn’t my son anymore. It was like I never really knew him after all. I mean, I was brought up a certain way, and even if my sister didn’t live like that anymore I wasn’t about to give in to the ways of the world. Things weren’t always easy for Tucker and me, but the Lord had been good to us through it all, and I wasn’t going to walk away from that. Sometimes it seemed my faith in God was all I had left. If I had to choose between my Lord and my son, I shouldn’t have to apologize for the choice I made. Still, it hurt to know I’d lost my only son.
The twenty-seventh Psalm kept running through my head. One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life. And the twenty-fourth chapter of Joshua. As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. I prayed there in the car that God would bring my son back to me, that he would find Jesus again and turn back from the life he was livin’.
That morning at the post office came to mind, and I had to fight off the bitterness. I tried to be happy for Ella that Steven had turned out all right, but I couldn’t help wishing that Chad had done the same.
Tucker’s pickup pulled in the driveway as I was settin’ the table for supper.
The look on his face left me cold as he pulled the back door to. “What’s wrong, honey?” I asked.
He dropped his keys on the countertop and looked out the kitchen window. “Buck Radford called me just before the shop closed.” He turned to me. “Steve’s dead.”
I felt my face go white. Ella. My God. “No. Tucker.” I put down the forks that were in my hand and went to my husband.
“Shot himself, Jamie. Buck just heard from the sheriff’s department this afternoon. Neighbors hadn’t seen him in four days or so, and the shop hadn’t heard from him. Cops went in and found him in the bathroom, his face blown off with that pistol Buck had given him.”
“Oh, no!” Poor Ella, I was thinking. A flood of guilt rushed over me when I remembered seeing her at the post office. I almost hated her for rubbing it in how well Steve was doing, and now my skin felt like it was on fire. “Does Ella know?”
“Yeah, she knows. She and Buck went down to Houston to ID the body. Buck didn’t want her to go, said he was afraid she couldn’t handle it. But she insisted. Said her boy needed her.”
“You mean they left already?” I was getting dizzy, how fast all this was happening.
“Yeah. Said they’ll probably be back tomorrow. They’re bringin’ him home with ‘em too, if he’s ready.”
I couldn’t imagine Ella goin’ through anything like this. Nothin’ bad ever happened to her. I could feel tears well up in my eyes, wonderin’ what must be on her mind.
Tucker came closer and put his arms around me. “I know, Jamie. I know.” I fell into him, dropped my head on his shoulder. My own son came to mind, and Jodi.
“My sister called me up this afternoon. Said she saw Chad.”
He tensed up when I mentioned Chad’s name. Sometimes I think our son disappointed Tucker more than he did me. Of course, what father wouldn’t be disappointed by something like that? “Jamie, I don’t know if I even wanna think about that right now. Let’s just sit down and eat, all right?”
“All right.” I shouldn’t have brought it up. Our own family troubles seemed irrelevant at the moment. We sat down at the kitchen table and joined hands, and Tucker said the blessing. His voice faltered just a little when he thanked God for the food and asked Him to keep us in His Word.
Then we ate in silence.
Next day, Buck and Ella weren’t at church. They’d been in Houston all day, and even if they were back in time they were probably too exhausted, physically and emotionally, to do much of anything. Tucker told me that Steve’s body wouldn’t get to the funeral home in town till sometime tomorrow.
We just about prayed the paint off the walls in that building, for Buck and Ella, for Steve, for his brothers and sister. I offered up a silent prayer for my own son and for Jodi.
Westside Baptist is the kind of church that prays for everything under the sun. We kinda got a reputation over it, some of the folks at the other Baptist church in town look down their noses at us because they think we spend too much time prayin’ and not enough time hearin’ the Word. Says it makes us more Charismatic than Baptist. Course, I don’t see what the big deal is, it isn’t like we put our hands in the air and start dancin’ around the room when we pray. Mother and Daddy would have a fit if they thought Tucker was takin’ me to that kind of church.
Truth is, we do hear the Word in our church. But isn’t it part of that Word to pray without ceasing? I don’t think there’s anything wrong at all with bein’ a prayin’ church. Besides, that’s what Wednesday night is all about. It’s a prayer service. And that night, Buck and Ella needed our prayers more than they ever had.
Kelly let me off early Thursday so Tucker and I could go to the funeral home. Tucker was already at the house when I got there, to make himself presentable and all. It didn’t take me as long to get ready. Guess workin’ in an office doesn’t mess you up as much as workin’ in a machine shop will. I did put on one of my Sunday dresses, and with that, we were ready to go.
We rode in my car into town. Tucker drove. I’m not one of those women’s libbers who takes it personally when the man of the house wants to drive. In fact, I rather enjoy the break. Tucker’s always a lot more careful driving my car than his own pickup. I don’t know if he’s afraid I’ll start nagging him, or if it’s that he’s just not used to driving a car. Too close to the road, I guess.
We turned down the street that the funeral home is on and couldn’t believe how many cars there were. The parking lot was full, and cars lined both sides of the street for quite a few blocks. Tucker parked on one of the side streets, and we walked silently towards the old brick house that had been a funeral home for as long as I could remember.
We knew just about everybody who was milling around in the lobby, so it took us a while to get lined up to sign the book. Tucker went around the shakin’ hands with every man in the room, while I wandered over to the corner where a group of women from church had gathered. One of the older women, Velma Parrish, broke from the group and turned to me.
“How’re you doin’, Jamie?” She reached out to squeeze my hand.
“Oh, I’m doin’ all right, I guess, Velma. Have you seen Ella?”
“Yes, I have, Jamie. She asked about you.”
“Probably wonderin’ if I was gonna be here. Sure is a shame, isn’t it?”
“Sure is, Jamie. How’s your boy doing?”
I was hoping to avoid any conversation about Chad that afternoon. “He’s fine. My sister Jodi said she saw him earlier this week.”
“’S good to hear. Jodi. My, I haven’t seen that girl in ages. When she comin’ back to see us?”
“Couldn’t say, Velma. You know how she is. She got her eyes on the city and ain’t never looked back.”
“Well, you tell her I said hello next time you hear from her, y’hear?”
“I sure will, Velma. I’m gonna go get Tucker and see about goin’ in.”
“All right, sugar. You be good to yourself.”
“I will if you will.” I smiled at her before I turned to look for my husband.
Buck and Ella were sittin’ on a dark blue sofa in the parlor with Steve’s casket. They stood up when they saw me and Tucker coming in the room. I went up and put my arms around Ella. She just about fell into me, and I could feel her starting to sob on my shoulder.
“Ella. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”
After a moment or two she answered, “I know, Jamie. I sure do appreciate you and Tucker comin’ this afternoon.”
“It’s no problem. No problem at all.” I felt myself rocking her in my arms.
Tucker come up and reached his hand out to Ella’s husband, then pulled him closer and gave him a pat on the back. “Buck, I sure am sorry about your boy.”
“Thanks, Tucker. Sure do appreciate it.”
“If there’s anything me or Jamie can do, you just let us know. All right?”
“Sure thing, man.”
Ella pulled away from me and dried her eyes with the kleenex she held in her hand. “I’ve got something I wanna show you, Jamie.”
Buck started. “Ella, honey, we don’t need to get into that here.”
“No, Buck,” his wife answered, “I think now’s as good a time as any.” With that, she led me out of the room.
I followed her out to her car in the parking lot. She opened the back door and rummaged through a pile of what I imagined was some of Steven’s things and pulled out a black, leather-bound Bible. “I wanna show you this.”
We went out into the lawn in front of the funeral home, to a bench that sat beneath the stately old oak trees. We sat down next to each other, and Ella handed the Bible to me. “The deputies gave this to us. It belonged to Steven.”
I took the Bible from Ella’s hand and opened the cover. The inscription said, “To Steven, from Mee-Maw, on the occasion of your Baptism in Christ Jesus.”
“This is beautiful, Ella. I can’t believe he hung on to it.” Ella’s mother had passed away a few months after Steve was baptized.
“It is beautiful.” She took the book from me and started flipping through the pages. “I wanted to show you something.” She found the page she was looking for and handed the Bible back to me.
There, on the page Ella had opened up to, a verse had been highlighted, underlined, and circled twice in heavy black ink. Arrows were drawn in the margin pointing to the verse, and the words had been copied several times in dark capital letters around the margins. The marks were so heavy that they creased the pages. I just stared at that page without moving a muscle.
Suddenly, my hands began to tremble. “Ella, what’s this mean?” I closed the Bible and handed it back to her.
“Don’t you see, Jamie? This is what it’s all about. The cops said Steven didn’t leave a note or anything, but on the way back home I found this. I showed it to Buck, and we both realized that this is why he did it.”
“You don’t mean, Ella—“
“That’s exactly what I mean, Jamie. Neither one of us knew that any of this was going on. But if you could have been there, if you could have seen the house. Jamie!”
“What is it, Ella?”
“My son was fightin’ a war neither Buck nor I knew anything about. A holy war, even. He was fightin’ with the Devil for his very soul.” Her lips trembled into something of a smile.
I could feel my face going white, and I was starting to get really sick to my stomach.
“Ella, he’s your son. How could you say a thing like that?”
“But it’s true, Jamie, it’s true. He was fightin’ with the Devil, and he won. He won, Jamie.”
He won? It was like she forgot her son was dead. “Won what, Ella?”
“Can’t you see? He won his soul. It cost him his life, but he saved his soul. Praise the Lord! That’s what I say, praise the Lord!” Tears were streaming down around the smile on her face.
I was horrified to hear this woman talking about her own son like that. I got up to leave.
“Where are you going, Jamie?”
“I’ve got to go, Ella. I’m gonna go get Tucker. We gotta go home.”
Ella stood up and threw her arms around me. “I’m glad you came, Jamie. I’m glad I could talk about this to someone. Buck doesn’t want to talk about it, and he doesn’t want me to talk about it with anyone else, either.”
With good reason, I thought. “Ella, if there’s anything you need, anything at all, you’ll call me?”
“I will. Thanks, Jamie. You’ve been a really good friend to me. I don’t know if I could stand all this if you weren’t here.”
“It’s all right, Ella. It’s gonna be all right.”
“You know, Jamie. You’re right. It is gonna be all right.”
I fought the urge not to run back into the funeral home to fetch my husband and get out of there.
Sometimes I wish Tucker would drive a little faster. It seemed like we took forever gettin’ home. When we finally did get to the house, I couldn’t get in fast enough. I made straight for the kitchen, to the phone.
Tucker followed me in there. “Whatcha doin’, sweetheart?”
“I gotta make a phone call or two. Why don’t you go get out of your good clothes? I’m gonna start supper here soon enough.”
When he was out of the room, I picked the phone up and dialed information. I asked for Austin, but the operator gave me another number to call up. I hung up and dialed the number she gave me.
“What city?” the voice on the other end asked.
“Austin.”
“Name?”
“Chad Forrest.” I was panting with anxiety.
“One moment, please.” In no time, I had the number and dialed.
The phone rang twice before anyone picked it up. “Hee-yellow,” the voice said.
I had almost forgotten what his voice even sounded like. “Chad? Chad honey, is that you?”
“Yeah this is Chad, who is—uh, Mom?”
“Yes, honey, it’s me. How are you?”
“Uh, fine, Mom, everything’s just fine.” I must have caught him off guard. “What’s going on?”
“I just wanted to get in touch with you and see how you were doing.”
“I’m fine, Mom.” He must have forgotten he already said that. “How are you?”
“I’m fine, son.” Then, “No, I’m not fine, Chad. I miss you.”
“I miss you too, Mom. What’s wrong?”
“Chad, I don’t know how to say this, but I’ve made a terrible mistake. I just wanted you to know I’m sorry for shutting you out.” My face was getting wet with tears.
“It’s okay, Mom.” Chad’s voice was starting to shake, too.
“No, it’s not. Listen, could you do me a favor?”
“Sure, Mom. What is it?”
“Could you come home for a couple days?”
He hesitated. “Uh, well, yeah. I guess I could. Is it all right with Dad?”
“It will be all right with him. We just need you here.”
“Why? What’s wrong?”
I debated whether I should tell him over the phone. Then again, he’d find out soon enough if I asked him to bring something to wear to a funeral. “Steven Radford’s dead, honey.”
“What! Oh my God! What happened?”
“He killed himself.”
“Oh, God! Are you for real?”
“Chad, you don’t think I would make something like that up, now, would you? Listen, your Dad and I want you to come with us to the funeral.”
“Uh, sure, Mom. You bet. Hell of a reunion, wouldn’t you say?”
“I know, son. I’m sorry about that. I should have called you sooner.”
“Hey, it’s okay. So, you really want me to come up?”
“Yes, I really do.”
“What about the other?”
“What other?”
“Oh, come on, Mom, you know. Why you haven’t so much as called me in over a year.”
Was I really ready to face this? I almost started to regret having called him. But no. This had to be done. I was not gonna end up like Ella. She didn’t choose to lose her son like I did. This was just something I was gonna have to figure out between the Lord and myself. “Chad, I can’t promise that this is gonna be easy, but when you get here I think you’ll understand why I have to see you. When can you be here?”
“I have to call work in the morning, but I can be there by noon. Is that okay?”
“That’s fine, honey. Just be careful.”
“Will do, Mom. I’ll call you when I’m on my way in the morning.”
“Thanks. And, oh, son?”
“Yeah, Mom?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, Mom.” He was choking back tears just like I was. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
After I hung up with Chad, I reached for the Bible that I kept in one of the kitchen cabinets. I thumbed through the pages till I found the verse that had demanded so much attention in Steve Radford’s Bible. As I looked at the words, I could see the highlighting, the underlines, the circles, the arrows. I saw the words written several times in the margin in heavy capital letters.
I read the words to myself: If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
So many times I had used those very words against my own son.
I looked up and saw the manic expression in Ella’s face as she went on about how Steve had fought a holy war and won his soul. I wondered to myself, what kind of faith is it that demands such an awful sacrifice? I realized that there would be no easy answers. As much as it scared me to risk losing my faith, the thought of ending up like Ella Radford frightened me even more.
After thinking some more about what had gone on that day, I closed my Bible and put it back in its place.
Then, swallowing the lump in my throat, I reached for the phone again and called my sister.
2003
My sister and I haven’t spoken much over the last several years, and every time we do reminds me why it doesn’t happen more often.
Not only that, she had the nerve to call me at work. If she and I were close, she would have known how I felt about takin’ personal calls there. But she didn’t know, so she called me up and gave me the third degree.
Like my sister has any place giving me the third degree!
Maybe it wouldn’t have upset me so much if I hadn’t run into Ella Radford at the post office. I had some bills to mail, but no stamps, so I had to make a special trip on my lunch break. It didn’t come as any surprise that I see somebody I know at the post office—we do live in a small town, after all—but of all people, why did it have to be Ella? I tried to avoid her, but she spied me before I could get out the door.
“Jamie? Why Jamie Forrest! How are you doing today?”
“Just fine, Ella. How are you?”
“I’m just fine, sugar. How’s that boy of yours?”
“He’s all right, I guess.” I wasn’t about to let her know I hadn’t heard from Chad in over a year, much less why.
“That’s good to hear. I was talkin’ to Steven the other day, and he asked about him.”
Oh, no. Here it comes, I thought to myself.
“You know, Steven’s been doing so well since he moved to Houston. All that fussin’ and frettin’ we were doin’, and things are just going great for him.”
“Really? That’s wonderful!” Must be nice to have a son who turned out right. I know it’s a sin to be jealous of your neighbor, but this was just too much for me to help.
“Well, Jamie, I’ve gotta run. Got a million things to do today.”
“All right. Good seein’ you. Guess I’ll see you in church tomorrow night?” Like Ella Radford would miss being seen in church on Wednesday night for anything.
“You bet, sugar! I’ll see you later. Take care!”
With that, she was out the door, and all her saccharine sweetness with her.
I stood there in the lobby, my bills still in hand and my mouth growing tighter every second.
I know it ain’t right, her bein’ a friend and all, but sometimes that woman just makes me sick.
Ella was still on my mind when the phone rang.
“Good afternoon, Williamson Contracting, can I help you?”
“Jamie?”
I tensed at the sound of her voice. “This is Jamie.”
“Hey, sis. Jodi here. How’s it going?”
“Jodi, what are you doing? I can’t take personal calls here.”
“Sorry, sis, I just couldn’t wait.” Sis. We talk once or twice a year, and she acts like we’re the best of friends.
“Wait for what?”
“I saw Chad today.”
God, I prayed, give me strength. “You did, did you?”
“Yes. I did. He asked me if I heard from you or Tucker.”
“And you said?”
“I told him I hadn’t heard from you in a few months now.”
“Well, that’s the truth, I guess, isn’t it?” This was going somewhere eventually, and I could tell I wouldn’t like where it was going to end up. “So, where did you run into him?”
“I knew he was living here in Austin, so I looked him up and took him out to lunch.”
Leave it to my sister to conspire behind my back. “Jodi, what’s this all about?”
“Jamie, he’s my nephew. Just because you refuse to have any relationship with him, doesn’t mean I have to.”
“You know what? Fine. Do whatever you want. Just leave me out of it.”
“Jamie…”
“What?”
“He’s your son. Don’t you think this has gone on long enough?”
“You know what? You’re right. It has gone on long enough. You, him, the whole thing. Look, it isn’t my fault that the whole world has gone completely crazy. You and Chad may go on livin’ the way you do, but that doesn’t mean I have to give in and pretend there’s nothin’ wrong with it.”
“What’s wrong with it? Jamie, your son told you the truth. Would you rather he lived a lie?”
“He is living a lie, Jodi. He’s lyin’ to himself pretendin’ that it’s okay to be doin’ what he’s doin’.”
“Jamie. He told me he misses you. Tucker too.”
“Okay. You know what? I’ll tell you what you can tell him, Jodi. You can tell him, whenever he’s ready to turn his life around and be the man Tucker and I brought him up to be, we’ll be here. He knows where he can find us. You tell him that, all right?”
“C’mon, Jamie. You act like this is something he can change.”
“It is something he can change, Jodi. He can change it if he prays for it.”
“Here we go again.” My thoughts exactly, I wanted to say to my sister. “Listen, sis, when are you gonna get your head out of the sand?”
“My head ain’t in the sand, Jodi. It’s you who won’t face reality. I live my life in the fear of the Lord, and if you or Chad can’t deal with that, then you might as well just forget it!”
“You know what, sis? You’re right. Just forget it.” The phone clicked in my ear.
Mother just about died the first time Jodi got pregnant.
Two years into college, and she had to drop out and get a job so she could support the child. Now she has two kids and is living in sin with a man who is not their father.
I’ll never know how my parents managed. My sister and I grew up in a strict Southern Baptist home with old-fashioned values. Our father was the head of the house. Mother stayed at home, cooked, cleaned, and looked after Jodi and me when we got home from school. We were expected to get good grades, respect our elders, go to church, and avoid such things as smoking, drinking, loud music, and boys and girls who weren’t “brought up right.” These included Catholics and children whose parents didn’t go to church. Considering all this, I can understand how upset my parents were when Jodi turned out the way she did.
Even more so since the same thing happened to me. I figured, if I stayed in school and out of trouble, things would turn out all right for me. And at first they did. I married a good Christian man, settled down, and started a family. Tucker and I were married for two years when we had our son. After Chad was born, though, life began to turn out differently than I had expected. For one thing, we found out that I couldn’t have any more children. Then Tucker got laid off and had to take a job that didn’t pay so good. A friend of ours from church was a contractor, and I started working in his office to make ends meet. Still, we went to church every Sunday and Wednesday, and managed as well we could with our lives. It just doesn’t seem fair that so much went wrong when we thought we were doing everything right.
Steve Radford surprised his parents when he decided to move to Houston after graduating from high school. They had expected him to stay home and settle in town, like his two brothers had done. Ella had told me how much she worried about her youngest son living in “The Big City,” and Buck even bought him a revolver before he left home. A couple Saturdays before Steve was to move, Buck had come into the kitchen where Ella and their son were still eating breakfast.
“C’mere, son, I got somethin’ for you.”
Steve followed his father into the garage. Buck pulled a package out from under the workbench and handed it to his son.
“Your mother and I thought you might need a little…well, a little insurance when you moved to Houston.”
Steve opened up the package and pulled out the shiny black revolver.
“What’s this, Dad?”
“You know, son, your mother and I have been thinking a lot about this. You remember your uncle Jerry? The one that got shot in Houston back in ’78? Well, we were thinkin’ you oughtta have something to, well, we thought you oughtta have some protection. In case you needed it.”
“Dad, I’ve never fired a revolver before.”
“Nothin’ to it, Steven. Not a whole lot different from them shotguns you go huntin’ with.”
“I don’t know, Dad. A handgun—I mean, goin’ deer huntin’ is one thing, but this is for shootin’ people.”
“Don’t think of it that way, son. Think of it as a way to keep other folks from shootin’ you.”
“Dad, you’re not worryin’ about anything happenin’ to me like what happened to Uncle Jerry, are you?”
“Well, Steven, you never know. It’s a whole different world in the big city. Listen, it’s not like you’re gonna leave it lyin’ around or anything. You’re gonna keep it locked up and all. Just take it. It’ll make your mother and me feel a lot better, knowin’ you got something like that in case you ever need it.”
Ella told me that Steve did exactly that. When he moved to Houston, he locked up the gun, unloaded, and all but forgot he even had the thing. Truth be told, it wasn’t so much for his protection as their peace of mind. Buck and Ella were sure he would never need it, but it was a good thing to have if he ever did.
Turns out they didn’t need to worry much about him at all. Once Steve moved to Houston, he found himself a good church to go to on the north side of town, not far from the machine shop where he worked, and even bought himself a house through some man in the church he had met soon after joining. He kept himself so busy in that church that there never was any temptation to get into trouble, and besides that, Steve was the kind of young man who could be trusted never to get into that kind of trouble if he was tempted.
Sure wish I could say the same thing for Chad.
I still had the phone to my ear when Kelly Williamson came into the office.
“Someone on the phone?”
I looked at him blankly before registering what he was talking about. “What? Oh, no. No, Kelly. It was my sister.”
“Your sister? What was she doing callin’ up here?”
“She doesn’t know how I feel about takin’ personal calls at work.”
“No worry, Jamie.” It was more my policy than Kelly’s. Guess I felt guilty about how good he’d been to Tucker and me. “How is that sister of yours? I ain’t seen her in years.”
I really didn’t want to get into it all over again. “She’s all right, I guess. Just called to pick on me. You know how sisters are.” Kelly had two sisters, I knew he would understand.
“Yeah, Jamie, that is certainly something I do know.”
I sure was lucky to be working for a man like Kelly Williamson. He was a good Christian man, married to one of my old friends from school. He knew my sister, and he knew why we were at odds. He also knew about the hard times Tucker and I were going through, and he paid me more than he would have paid someone more qualified to run his office.
It was about quarter after five when I shut the lights off in the office. Kelly was under the hood of one of his dump trucks when I ducked my head in the shop.
“I’m gone if you don’t need anything else, Kelly.”
“That’s all right, Jamie. You have yourself a good night. And tell that husband of your’n I’ll be seein’ him tomorrow at church.”
“You got it, Kelly. Don’t stay too late.” He already had his head back under the hood, his arm went up in acknowledgment.
Men and their toys.
On the way home I got to thinkin’ about Jodi’s call, and that got me to thinkin’ about Chad. I missed my son, but in a way he wasn’t my son anymore. It was like I never really knew him after all. I mean, I was brought up a certain way, and even if my sister didn’t live like that anymore I wasn’t about to give in to the ways of the world. Things weren’t always easy for Tucker and me, but the Lord had been good to us through it all, and I wasn’t going to walk away from that. Sometimes it seemed my faith in God was all I had left. If I had to choose between my Lord and my son, I shouldn’t have to apologize for the choice I made. Still, it hurt to know I’d lost my only son.
The twenty-seventh Psalm kept running through my head. One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life. And the twenty-fourth chapter of Joshua. As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. I prayed there in the car that God would bring my son back to me, that he would find Jesus again and turn back from the life he was livin’.
That morning at the post office came to mind, and I had to fight off the bitterness. I tried to be happy for Ella that Steven had turned out all right, but I couldn’t help wishing that Chad had done the same.
Tucker’s pickup pulled in the driveway as I was settin’ the table for supper.
The look on his face left me cold as he pulled the back door to. “What’s wrong, honey?” I asked.
He dropped his keys on the countertop and looked out the kitchen window. “Buck Radford called me just before the shop closed.” He turned to me. “Steve’s dead.”
I felt my face go white. Ella. My God. “No. Tucker.” I put down the forks that were in my hand and went to my husband.
“Shot himself, Jamie. Buck just heard from the sheriff’s department this afternoon. Neighbors hadn’t seen him in four days or so, and the shop hadn’t heard from him. Cops went in and found him in the bathroom, his face blown off with that pistol Buck had given him.”
“Oh, no!” Poor Ella, I was thinking. A flood of guilt rushed over me when I remembered seeing her at the post office. I almost hated her for rubbing it in how well Steve was doing, and now my skin felt like it was on fire. “Does Ella know?”
“Yeah, she knows. She and Buck went down to Houston to ID the body. Buck didn’t want her to go, said he was afraid she couldn’t handle it. But she insisted. Said her boy needed her.”
“You mean they left already?” I was getting dizzy, how fast all this was happening.
“Yeah. Said they’ll probably be back tomorrow. They’re bringin’ him home with ‘em too, if he’s ready.”
I couldn’t imagine Ella goin’ through anything like this. Nothin’ bad ever happened to her. I could feel tears well up in my eyes, wonderin’ what must be on her mind.
Tucker came closer and put his arms around me. “I know, Jamie. I know.” I fell into him, dropped my head on his shoulder. My own son came to mind, and Jodi.
“My sister called me up this afternoon. Said she saw Chad.”
He tensed up when I mentioned Chad’s name. Sometimes I think our son disappointed Tucker more than he did me. Of course, what father wouldn’t be disappointed by something like that? “Jamie, I don’t know if I even wanna think about that right now. Let’s just sit down and eat, all right?”
“All right.” I shouldn’t have brought it up. Our own family troubles seemed irrelevant at the moment. We sat down at the kitchen table and joined hands, and Tucker said the blessing. His voice faltered just a little when he thanked God for the food and asked Him to keep us in His Word.
Then we ate in silence.
Next day, Buck and Ella weren’t at church. They’d been in Houston all day, and even if they were back in time they were probably too exhausted, physically and emotionally, to do much of anything. Tucker told me that Steve’s body wouldn’t get to the funeral home in town till sometime tomorrow.
We just about prayed the paint off the walls in that building, for Buck and Ella, for Steve, for his brothers and sister. I offered up a silent prayer for my own son and for Jodi.
Westside Baptist is the kind of church that prays for everything under the sun. We kinda got a reputation over it, some of the folks at the other Baptist church in town look down their noses at us because they think we spend too much time prayin’ and not enough time hearin’ the Word. Says it makes us more Charismatic than Baptist. Course, I don’t see what the big deal is, it isn’t like we put our hands in the air and start dancin’ around the room when we pray. Mother and Daddy would have a fit if they thought Tucker was takin’ me to that kind of church.
Truth is, we do hear the Word in our church. But isn’t it part of that Word to pray without ceasing? I don’t think there’s anything wrong at all with bein’ a prayin’ church. Besides, that’s what Wednesday night is all about. It’s a prayer service. And that night, Buck and Ella needed our prayers more than they ever had.
Kelly let me off early Thursday so Tucker and I could go to the funeral home. Tucker was already at the house when I got there, to make himself presentable and all. It didn’t take me as long to get ready. Guess workin’ in an office doesn’t mess you up as much as workin’ in a machine shop will. I did put on one of my Sunday dresses, and with that, we were ready to go.
We rode in my car into town. Tucker drove. I’m not one of those women’s libbers who takes it personally when the man of the house wants to drive. In fact, I rather enjoy the break. Tucker’s always a lot more careful driving my car than his own pickup. I don’t know if he’s afraid I’ll start nagging him, or if it’s that he’s just not used to driving a car. Too close to the road, I guess.
We turned down the street that the funeral home is on and couldn’t believe how many cars there were. The parking lot was full, and cars lined both sides of the street for quite a few blocks. Tucker parked on one of the side streets, and we walked silently towards the old brick house that had been a funeral home for as long as I could remember.
We knew just about everybody who was milling around in the lobby, so it took us a while to get lined up to sign the book. Tucker went around the shakin’ hands with every man in the room, while I wandered over to the corner where a group of women from church had gathered. One of the older women, Velma Parrish, broke from the group and turned to me.
“How’re you doin’, Jamie?” She reached out to squeeze my hand.
“Oh, I’m doin’ all right, I guess, Velma. Have you seen Ella?”
“Yes, I have, Jamie. She asked about you.”
“Probably wonderin’ if I was gonna be here. Sure is a shame, isn’t it?”
“Sure is, Jamie. How’s your boy doing?”
I was hoping to avoid any conversation about Chad that afternoon. “He’s fine. My sister Jodi said she saw him earlier this week.”
“’S good to hear. Jodi. My, I haven’t seen that girl in ages. When she comin’ back to see us?”
“Couldn’t say, Velma. You know how she is. She got her eyes on the city and ain’t never looked back.”
“Well, you tell her I said hello next time you hear from her, y’hear?”
“I sure will, Velma. I’m gonna go get Tucker and see about goin’ in.”
“All right, sugar. You be good to yourself.”
“I will if you will.” I smiled at her before I turned to look for my husband.
Buck and Ella were sittin’ on a dark blue sofa in the parlor with Steve’s casket. They stood up when they saw me and Tucker coming in the room. I went up and put my arms around Ella. She just about fell into me, and I could feel her starting to sob on my shoulder.
“Ella. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”
After a moment or two she answered, “I know, Jamie. I sure do appreciate you and Tucker comin’ this afternoon.”
“It’s no problem. No problem at all.” I felt myself rocking her in my arms.
Tucker come up and reached his hand out to Ella’s husband, then pulled him closer and gave him a pat on the back. “Buck, I sure am sorry about your boy.”
“Thanks, Tucker. Sure do appreciate it.”
“If there’s anything me or Jamie can do, you just let us know. All right?”
“Sure thing, man.”
Ella pulled away from me and dried her eyes with the kleenex she held in her hand. “I’ve got something I wanna show you, Jamie.”
Buck started. “Ella, honey, we don’t need to get into that here.”
“No, Buck,” his wife answered, “I think now’s as good a time as any.” With that, she led me out of the room.
I followed her out to her car in the parking lot. She opened the back door and rummaged through a pile of what I imagined was some of Steven’s things and pulled out a black, leather-bound Bible. “I wanna show you this.”
We went out into the lawn in front of the funeral home, to a bench that sat beneath the stately old oak trees. We sat down next to each other, and Ella handed the Bible to me. “The deputies gave this to us. It belonged to Steven.”
I took the Bible from Ella’s hand and opened the cover. The inscription said, “To Steven, from Mee-Maw, on the occasion of your Baptism in Christ Jesus.”
“This is beautiful, Ella. I can’t believe he hung on to it.” Ella’s mother had passed away a few months after Steve was baptized.
“It is beautiful.” She took the book from me and started flipping through the pages. “I wanted to show you something.” She found the page she was looking for and handed the Bible back to me.
There, on the page Ella had opened up to, a verse had been highlighted, underlined, and circled twice in heavy black ink. Arrows were drawn in the margin pointing to the verse, and the words had been copied several times in dark capital letters around the margins. The marks were so heavy that they creased the pages. I just stared at that page without moving a muscle.
Suddenly, my hands began to tremble. “Ella, what’s this mean?” I closed the Bible and handed it back to her.
“Don’t you see, Jamie? This is what it’s all about. The cops said Steven didn’t leave a note or anything, but on the way back home I found this. I showed it to Buck, and we both realized that this is why he did it.”
“You don’t mean, Ella—“
“That’s exactly what I mean, Jamie. Neither one of us knew that any of this was going on. But if you could have been there, if you could have seen the house. Jamie!”
“What is it, Ella?”
“My son was fightin’ a war neither Buck nor I knew anything about. A holy war, even. He was fightin’ with the Devil for his very soul.” Her lips trembled into something of a smile.
I could feel my face going white, and I was starting to get really sick to my stomach.
“Ella, he’s your son. How could you say a thing like that?”
“But it’s true, Jamie, it’s true. He was fightin’ with the Devil, and he won. He won, Jamie.”
He won? It was like she forgot her son was dead. “Won what, Ella?”
“Can’t you see? He won his soul. It cost him his life, but he saved his soul. Praise the Lord! That’s what I say, praise the Lord!” Tears were streaming down around the smile on her face.
I was horrified to hear this woman talking about her own son like that. I got up to leave.
“Where are you going, Jamie?”
“I’ve got to go, Ella. I’m gonna go get Tucker. We gotta go home.”
Ella stood up and threw her arms around me. “I’m glad you came, Jamie. I’m glad I could talk about this to someone. Buck doesn’t want to talk about it, and he doesn’t want me to talk about it with anyone else, either.”
With good reason, I thought. “Ella, if there’s anything you need, anything at all, you’ll call me?”
“I will. Thanks, Jamie. You’ve been a really good friend to me. I don’t know if I could stand all this if you weren’t here.”
“It’s all right, Ella. It’s gonna be all right.”
“You know, Jamie. You’re right. It is gonna be all right.”
I fought the urge not to run back into the funeral home to fetch my husband and get out of there.
Sometimes I wish Tucker would drive a little faster. It seemed like we took forever gettin’ home. When we finally did get to the house, I couldn’t get in fast enough. I made straight for the kitchen, to the phone.
Tucker followed me in there. “Whatcha doin’, sweetheart?”
“I gotta make a phone call or two. Why don’t you go get out of your good clothes? I’m gonna start supper here soon enough.”
When he was out of the room, I picked the phone up and dialed information. I asked for Austin, but the operator gave me another number to call up. I hung up and dialed the number she gave me.
“What city?” the voice on the other end asked.
“Austin.”
“Name?”
“Chad Forrest.” I was panting with anxiety.
“One moment, please.” In no time, I had the number and dialed.
The phone rang twice before anyone picked it up. “Hee-yellow,” the voice said.
I had almost forgotten what his voice even sounded like. “Chad? Chad honey, is that you?”
“Yeah this is Chad, who is—uh, Mom?”
“Yes, honey, it’s me. How are you?”
“Uh, fine, Mom, everything’s just fine.” I must have caught him off guard. “What’s going on?”
“I just wanted to get in touch with you and see how you were doing.”
“I’m fine, Mom.” He must have forgotten he already said that. “How are you?”
“I’m fine, son.” Then, “No, I’m not fine, Chad. I miss you.”
“I miss you too, Mom. What’s wrong?”
“Chad, I don’t know how to say this, but I’ve made a terrible mistake. I just wanted you to know I’m sorry for shutting you out.” My face was getting wet with tears.
“It’s okay, Mom.” Chad’s voice was starting to shake, too.
“No, it’s not. Listen, could you do me a favor?”
“Sure, Mom. What is it?”
“Could you come home for a couple days?”
He hesitated. “Uh, well, yeah. I guess I could. Is it all right with Dad?”
“It will be all right with him. We just need you here.”
“Why? What’s wrong?”
I debated whether I should tell him over the phone. Then again, he’d find out soon enough if I asked him to bring something to wear to a funeral. “Steven Radford’s dead, honey.”
“What! Oh my God! What happened?”
“He killed himself.”
“Oh, God! Are you for real?”
“Chad, you don’t think I would make something like that up, now, would you? Listen, your Dad and I want you to come with us to the funeral.”
“Uh, sure, Mom. You bet. Hell of a reunion, wouldn’t you say?”
“I know, son. I’m sorry about that. I should have called you sooner.”
“Hey, it’s okay. So, you really want me to come up?”
“Yes, I really do.”
“What about the other?”
“What other?”
“Oh, come on, Mom, you know. Why you haven’t so much as called me in over a year.”
Was I really ready to face this? I almost started to regret having called him. But no. This had to be done. I was not gonna end up like Ella. She didn’t choose to lose her son like I did. This was just something I was gonna have to figure out between the Lord and myself. “Chad, I can’t promise that this is gonna be easy, but when you get here I think you’ll understand why I have to see you. When can you be here?”
“I have to call work in the morning, but I can be there by noon. Is that okay?”
“That’s fine, honey. Just be careful.”
“Will do, Mom. I’ll call you when I’m on my way in the morning.”
“Thanks. And, oh, son?”
“Yeah, Mom?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, Mom.” He was choking back tears just like I was. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
After I hung up with Chad, I reached for the Bible that I kept in one of the kitchen cabinets. I thumbed through the pages till I found the verse that had demanded so much attention in Steve Radford’s Bible. As I looked at the words, I could see the highlighting, the underlines, the circles, the arrows. I saw the words written several times in the margin in heavy capital letters.
I read the words to myself: If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
So many times I had used those very words against my own son.
I looked up and saw the manic expression in Ella’s face as she went on about how Steve had fought a holy war and won his soul. I wondered to myself, what kind of faith is it that demands such an awful sacrifice? I realized that there would be no easy answers. As much as it scared me to risk losing my faith, the thought of ending up like Ella Radford frightened me even more.
After thinking some more about what had gone on that day, I closed my Bible and put it back in its place.
Then, swallowing the lump in my throat, I reached for the phone again and called my sister.
2003
A Creation Story
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the Lord God gathered the light in heaven, and the darkness he gathered on earth. The lights he called sun and moon and stars, and the darkness he called land and sea. And the sun was bright, and warmed the heaven and earth, and the Lord called the time when the sun ruled over the earth day, and the time when the moon ruled he called night. And the land was rich and fertile, and the water was good and clean.
And the Lord God delighted in the earth, and said, “Let the land and the sea give life to every living creature.” And he called the creatures forth from the mud in the sea, to swim in the water, and crawl on the land, and fly through the air. And the creatures of the earth crawled forth from the mud in the sea, and some swam in the waters, while others crawled on the land, and still others flew through the air. And trees and grass, and all plants bearing fruit, grew on the face of the earth, and the sun warmed them with its radiance, and gave them light and life.
And the Lord was overjoyed with what he had created, and made man from the dust, to share his joy and to live abundantly on the land. God gave all the beasts and plants, the earth and the sea, into the man’s care, and made for him a garden in Eden to live in, with all the trees bearing fruit. And the Lord God blessed the man, and commanded him, saying, “All this I have created I give to you, to share with me in the joy of my creation. You shall enjoy a long, abundant life, and dance with me the dance of eternal happiness, and drink with me from the cup of unending goodness.”
And in this garden which he had planted the Lord God put the Tree of Life and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, and told the man that he may eat the fruit of any tree in the garden, but that he may not eat the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, for in the day that he eat that fruit, he shall surely die. And the Lord God made a companion for the man, to share in the goodness of what God had created, and the companion was called woman. And the woman came to the man, and they were joined together and became one flesh. And the woman asked the man, if they may eat the fruit of any tree in the garden, and the man said to the woman, that they may eat the fruit of any tree, but that they may not eat the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, for in the day that they eat that fruit, they shall surely die.
And the serpent came one day to the woman, and asked her if she may eat the fruit of any tree in the garden, and she said to him, that the Lord God commanded them to eat the fruit of any tree in the garden, but that they may not eat the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, for in the day that they eat of that fruit, they shall surely die. And the serpent said to the woman, “You shall surely not die, for if you eat of that fruit, your eyes shall become open, and you shall become like God.” And the woman looked at the fruit, and took some to her husband, and they ate. And their eyes were opened, and they looked about them and saw the garden, with all the trees and the beasts, and the hills bordering the garden to the east.
And the man said to his wife, “The trees of this garden will be good for timber, and we can cut them down and sell them for a profit. And look at the beasts in the field, we can hunt them for their hides and their tusks, and oil from their flesh, and the fish in the sea and the birds in the air, and likewise make profit from selling them. And the hills are rich in ore and minerals, and we can strip them and mine the earth under them, and drill for the oil that comes from the rocks beneath and the gases that dwell in the spaces between, and sell the ore and minerals and oil and gas, and likewise make a great profit from selling them. And we can amass our wealth, and take dominion over other gardens on the earth, and cut their timber, and mine their hills for ore and minerals and oil and gas, and sell them for an even greater profit. And we can establish industries on the banks of the river, so that the water may carry the wastes away that the industries produce, and the breezes over the trees can carry the smoke and gases from the fires that we will use for producing the goods in these industries, and make an even greater profit. And in time, we will have the use of the whole earth to ourselves, and the seas as well, and can travel into the heavens and take over the moon and stars. And we will have more wealth for ourselves than God, and he will have no power over us.”
And the woman saw that her husband was speaking with knowledge, and she knew that it was the will of the Lord God that she be submissive to her husband, and obey him in silence, for it was her husband who had told her such. And she agreed that they should take those things out of the earth that would afford them the greatest wealth. And they cut down the trees and sold them for timber, and made a great profit from selling the timber. And they hunted the beasts of the field for their hides and their tusks, and for the oils from their flesh, and the fish in the sea and the birds in the air, and they made profit from selling them. And they stripped the hills in the garden and mined the earth under them, and drilled for the oil that comes from the rocks beneath and the gases that dwell in the spaces between, and they sold the ore and minerals and oil and gas, and likewise made a great profit from selling them. And they amassed their wealth, and took dominion over other gardens on the earth, and cut their timber, and mined their hills for ore and minerals and oil and gas, and sold them for an even greater profit. And they established industries on the banks of the river, and the water carried the wastes away that the industries produced, and the breezes over the trees carried the smoke and gases from the fires that they used for producing the goods in those industries, and they made an even greater profit. And in time, they had the use of the whole earth to themselves, and the seas as well, and they traveled into the heavens and took over the moon and stars. And they had more wealth than God, and were very proud indeed, for they thought the Lord had no power over them.
And the Lord God came into the garden, to share with the man and the woman in the joy of what he had created. And he saw the trees of the garden cut down to the stumps, and the hills stripped and bare, and he saw the carcasses of the dead beasts lying in the field, and the dead fish floating in the sea and the birds which had been hunted out of the air, and he saw the industries on the banks of the river, and the water which was brown and green with wastes from the industries, and clouds of smoke rising from the chimneys. And his heart was sore grieved, and he called to the man, saying, “Where are you?” And the man said to the Lord, “We are here in the garden, playing tennis behind our $10,000,000 house which overlooks the ocean.” And the Lord God said to the man, “Why have the trees been cut down to the stumps, and why are the beasts lying dead in the field, and the dead fish floating in the sea and the birds hunted out of the air, and the hills stripped and bare, and the water of the river poisoned and clouds of smoke rising over the trees?”
And the man was proud, and said to God, “We have cut down the trees and sold them for timber, and made a great profit from selling it. And we have hunted the beasts in the field for their hides and their tusks, and the oils from their flesh, and the fish in the sea and the birds in the air, and have made profit from selling them. And we have stripped the hills in the garden and mined the earth under them, and drilled for the oil that comes from the rocks beneath and the gases that dwell in the spaces between, and we sold the ore and minerals and oil and gas, and likewise made a great profit from selling them. And we have amassed our wealth, and have taken dominion over other gardens on the earth, and have cut their timber, and mined their hills for ore and minerals and oil and gas, and have sold them for an even greater profit. And we have established industries on the banks of the river, where the water carries away the wastes that the industries produce, and the breezes over the trees carry the smoke and gases from the fires that are used in producing the goods in those industries, and we have made an even greater profit. And in time, we had the use of the whole earth to ourselves, and the seas as well, and we traveled into the heavens and took over the moon and stars. For you yourself, O God, have said to us, that we shall enjoy the fruits of creation, and live abundantly on the land. And we could not live more abundantly than when we had taken the riches out of the earth and accumulated great wealth for ourselves. And now have we more wealth than you, O Lord, and you have no power over us.” And the man was very proud, for that he and his wife had amassed more wealth to themselves than God, and they believed, that he has no power over them.
And the Lord God said to the man, “From where did you accumulate this wealth that you speak of?” And the man said to God, “We have created this wealth, it is called money. We have made it to show how wealthy we are, and how much power we have over heaven and earth.” And the Lord said to the man, “I have given you heaven and earth, which I have created, so that you may share in my joy what I have created. Why were not you satisfied, with that which I have created, that you must create to yourself this wealth, which not I but you have created, in the pursuit of which you have cut down the trees, and stripped the hills till they were bare, and killed the beasts in the field, and the fish in the sea and the birds in the air, and spilled poisons into the water and the air, and otherwise have destroyed that which I have created?”
And the man said to the Lord God, “I saw how good the land was for making profit, after the woman gave me to eat fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.” “Why have you eaten of the tree, of which I have commanded you, you shall not eat?” And the man said, “The woman gave me the fruit to eat.” And God said to the woman, “Who gave you the fruit of this tree?” And the woman looked around, but she did not see the serpent, who had said to her, that she should not surely die, if she eat the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. And she said, “The man told you that I had given him the fruit to eat, but it was he who said to me, that we should cut down the trees, and strip the hills bare, and kill the beasts in the field and the seas and the air, and poison the rivers and the clouds with industrial wastes, and he bade me obey him, for he said to me, that is the will of God, that a woman obey her husband, and be silent and submissive before him. And so I obeyed him, and was his helpmate in accumulating the wealth which we have accumulated for ourselves, for I believed it to be your will.”
And the Lord God cursed the man and the woman, saying, “Because you have done this, you are condemned to live your life in what you have created. I gave you the heavens and the earth, the sea and the dry land, and the plants bearing fruit and the beasts which crept forth from the mud in the seas, but you, Man, have taken that which I have wished to share with you in my joy, and destroyed it for what you have judged to be of the greatest value. In my sadness for creation I would restore it to that glory which I put into it at its beginning, but you would only destroy it anew.” And so the Lord God left the man and the woman in the garden, with the trees that had been cut down, and the hills that had been stripped bare, and the carcasses of the dead beasts in the field and the fish floating in the poisoned sea and the birds which had fallen from the sky, and the rivers filled with wastes and the clouds of smoke, and took up for his dwelling place a remote cloud above the smoke and gas which had filled the air over the earth.
And the man and the woman were filled with pride, for they had proved that they had power enough to remove God to the heavens, and take over the earth for themselves. And in their tongues they continued to give glory and honor to God, but in their hearts they no longer rejoiced in his goodness, but trusted only in their own power and in their own wealth, for with all their power and wealth they believed they had no need for God. No longer did they dance with the Lord the dance of eternal happiness, and drink with him from the cup of unending goodness, for they said to themselves, “It is not good for us to dance and to drink, for dancing distracts us from our quest for wealth, and drink confuses us, and we cannot manage the great wealth which we have accumulated to ourselves.”
And it came to pass, that the woman bore sons to the man, and they learned from their father the means of accumulating great wealth and profit, and they moved into other gardens, and cut down their trees for timber, and stripped their hills for ore and minerals and the oil in the rocks and the gas in the caves, and hunted the beasts of the field and the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, and built industries by the rivers, and poured their wastes into the rivers, and clouds of smoke and gas rose into the air. And the rains came down from the clouds in the air, and the land and the ocean were poisoned from the smoke and the gas that rose into the air, and nothing would grow on the land or in the sea, for the ground was no longer rich and fertile, nor was the water clean. And the sons waged war against each other, and destroyed the land in quest for dominion.
And the Lord God watched this from his throne in the clouds, and the Lord God said, “The times are coming when the heavens and the earth will no longer sustain life, for the man has poisoned the land so that it is no longer rich and fertile, and the waters are no longer good and clean.” And the Lord God said, “The man who depends on the fruit of the trees and the beasts of the field, and the fish in the sea and the birds in the air, to give him life, will kill all the blessing that I have given to him, so that he may accumulate much wealth for himself.”
But the wealth was no aid to the man. Once he killed the trees of the forest and the grains on the earth, and had brought the beasts of the field and the fish of the sea and the birds in the air to extinction, no wealth could buy these creatures back. And the man was left alone among the forests where all the trees had been cut down, and the hills which had been stripped and mined and left barren and bare, and the fields where no beast dwelt nor plant grew, and the rivers whose water was too poisoned to drink, and the man said to himself, “The Lord will deliver us from this earth, which has become barren.”
And the Lord God looked down upon the earth, and on the man, and he said, “The man has become too proud in his thoughts,” and he did not deliver the man in his time of need. And the man said to himself, “The Lord God is powerless to deliver us from the earth, yet we can deliver ourselves, with the great wealth which we have accumulated for ourselves.” And the man and his sons cut more trees, and stripped more hills, and hunted more beasts, and built more industries, and polluted more rivers, and accumulated more wealth for themselves. And they were proud, and said to themselves, “This wealth which we have accumulated to ourselves will deliver us in our time of need; we have no need for God.”
And the sun shone down and scorched the barren earth, and the beasts and vegetation wasted away, and there was no sustenance to be found on the earth, or in the sea. And the man and his sons spent their wealth in acquiring food and clean water, and their wealth was spent away, and the earth bore no more fruit to feed the man and his sons. And the man and his sons saw that their wealth would no longer provide for them, and in their desperation they cried out to the Lord God, saying “Surely the Lord our God will deliver us in our time of need.” And the earth became more barren than before, and the man knew hunger, and there was no relief. And the man said, “The Lord God has abandoned us in our need.” And a voice came from heaven, and the Lord said to the man, “I have not abandoned you; indeed, you have abandoned the Lord your God, and put yourselves in his place, and placed your trust in that which you have created, instead of placing your trust in him who created you and gave you life.”
And the man cried to the Lord, saying, “Deliver us, Lord, for we shall surely die so long as the earth remains barren.” And the Lord said to the man, “I have given all there is in heaven and on earth to give, to you and to your sons, and you have wasted the fruit of the earth to pursue that which you have created. Nothing remains that can deliver you and your seed; your deliverance you have devoured for your pride and your vanity.” And the man said to the Lord, “We will surely die if you do not deliver us.” And the Lord said to the man, “You in your wealth which you have created can deliver yourself.” And the man called his sons to himself, and he said to them, “The Lord our God will not deliver us, but he has said to me that we might deliver ourselves with the wealth which we have created.” And the sons said to the father, “The wealth which we have created is all spent, and nothing remains on the earth to give us life.”
And the man cursed the Lord, saying, “Cursed be the Lord our God, who has abandoned us to death. We have been faithful to him, and have called upon his name, and have given glory to him, and he has rewarded our faithfulness in leaving us to die on this miserable earth.” The Lord heard this, and he answered the man, saying, “When have you been faithful to me?” The man said, “Lord, we have honored your name as you have commanded, and I have taught my sons to honor the name of the Lord.”
And the Lord God said to the man and his sons: “Your faithfulness to me has been vanity; the honor which you have bestowed upon me has been nothing but empty utterances. You have said that you honor me, when in truth you have honored yourself and your great wealth. You have not trusted in the goodness of the Lord; but you have destroyed that which the Lord has created, to serve and honor that which you have created. It is well that you curse that to which you give honor and glory, for that has indeed abandoned you; but that to which you give honor and glory, is not the name of the Lord your God, but the wealth you have created and accumulated for yourself. Your wealth has proved unable to deliver you in the hour of your need, and all you need for life you have destroyed for your god, which is that powerless and empty wealth. Listen to me: I had commanded you, saying that you may eat the fruit of any tree in the garden, but you shall not eat the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it, you shall surely die. When you ate from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, you acquired the desire for wealth which you have created, and contempt for the beauty of the earth which the Lord your God has created. And when you cut down the trees of the garden, the first tree which fell was the Tree of Life.”
And the man wasted away, and perished from the earth, and all his sons likewise, for their great wealth was not enough to redeem them from their trouble. And the heaven and the earth passed away, for they had become poisoned and barren and could no longer give life. And the Lord God sat alone after that in the darkness.
2001
And the Lord God delighted in the earth, and said, “Let the land and the sea give life to every living creature.” And he called the creatures forth from the mud in the sea, to swim in the water, and crawl on the land, and fly through the air. And the creatures of the earth crawled forth from the mud in the sea, and some swam in the waters, while others crawled on the land, and still others flew through the air. And trees and grass, and all plants bearing fruit, grew on the face of the earth, and the sun warmed them with its radiance, and gave them light and life.
And the Lord was overjoyed with what he had created, and made man from the dust, to share his joy and to live abundantly on the land. God gave all the beasts and plants, the earth and the sea, into the man’s care, and made for him a garden in Eden to live in, with all the trees bearing fruit. And the Lord God blessed the man, and commanded him, saying, “All this I have created I give to you, to share with me in the joy of my creation. You shall enjoy a long, abundant life, and dance with me the dance of eternal happiness, and drink with me from the cup of unending goodness.”
And in this garden which he had planted the Lord God put the Tree of Life and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, and told the man that he may eat the fruit of any tree in the garden, but that he may not eat the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, for in the day that he eat that fruit, he shall surely die. And the Lord God made a companion for the man, to share in the goodness of what God had created, and the companion was called woman. And the woman came to the man, and they were joined together and became one flesh. And the woman asked the man, if they may eat the fruit of any tree in the garden, and the man said to the woman, that they may eat the fruit of any tree, but that they may not eat the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, for in the day that they eat that fruit, they shall surely die.
And the serpent came one day to the woman, and asked her if she may eat the fruit of any tree in the garden, and she said to him, that the Lord God commanded them to eat the fruit of any tree in the garden, but that they may not eat the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, for in the day that they eat of that fruit, they shall surely die. And the serpent said to the woman, “You shall surely not die, for if you eat of that fruit, your eyes shall become open, and you shall become like God.” And the woman looked at the fruit, and took some to her husband, and they ate. And their eyes were opened, and they looked about them and saw the garden, with all the trees and the beasts, and the hills bordering the garden to the east.
And the man said to his wife, “The trees of this garden will be good for timber, and we can cut them down and sell them for a profit. And look at the beasts in the field, we can hunt them for their hides and their tusks, and oil from their flesh, and the fish in the sea and the birds in the air, and likewise make profit from selling them. And the hills are rich in ore and minerals, and we can strip them and mine the earth under them, and drill for the oil that comes from the rocks beneath and the gases that dwell in the spaces between, and sell the ore and minerals and oil and gas, and likewise make a great profit from selling them. And we can amass our wealth, and take dominion over other gardens on the earth, and cut their timber, and mine their hills for ore and minerals and oil and gas, and sell them for an even greater profit. And we can establish industries on the banks of the river, so that the water may carry the wastes away that the industries produce, and the breezes over the trees can carry the smoke and gases from the fires that we will use for producing the goods in these industries, and make an even greater profit. And in time, we will have the use of the whole earth to ourselves, and the seas as well, and can travel into the heavens and take over the moon and stars. And we will have more wealth for ourselves than God, and he will have no power over us.”
And the woman saw that her husband was speaking with knowledge, and she knew that it was the will of the Lord God that she be submissive to her husband, and obey him in silence, for it was her husband who had told her such. And she agreed that they should take those things out of the earth that would afford them the greatest wealth. And they cut down the trees and sold them for timber, and made a great profit from selling the timber. And they hunted the beasts of the field for their hides and their tusks, and for the oils from their flesh, and the fish in the sea and the birds in the air, and they made profit from selling them. And they stripped the hills in the garden and mined the earth under them, and drilled for the oil that comes from the rocks beneath and the gases that dwell in the spaces between, and they sold the ore and minerals and oil and gas, and likewise made a great profit from selling them. And they amassed their wealth, and took dominion over other gardens on the earth, and cut their timber, and mined their hills for ore and minerals and oil and gas, and sold them for an even greater profit. And they established industries on the banks of the river, and the water carried the wastes away that the industries produced, and the breezes over the trees carried the smoke and gases from the fires that they used for producing the goods in those industries, and they made an even greater profit. And in time, they had the use of the whole earth to themselves, and the seas as well, and they traveled into the heavens and took over the moon and stars. And they had more wealth than God, and were very proud indeed, for they thought the Lord had no power over them.
And the Lord God came into the garden, to share with the man and the woman in the joy of what he had created. And he saw the trees of the garden cut down to the stumps, and the hills stripped and bare, and he saw the carcasses of the dead beasts lying in the field, and the dead fish floating in the sea and the birds which had been hunted out of the air, and he saw the industries on the banks of the river, and the water which was brown and green with wastes from the industries, and clouds of smoke rising from the chimneys. And his heart was sore grieved, and he called to the man, saying, “Where are you?” And the man said to the Lord, “We are here in the garden, playing tennis behind our $10,000,000 house which overlooks the ocean.” And the Lord God said to the man, “Why have the trees been cut down to the stumps, and why are the beasts lying dead in the field, and the dead fish floating in the sea and the birds hunted out of the air, and the hills stripped and bare, and the water of the river poisoned and clouds of smoke rising over the trees?”
And the man was proud, and said to God, “We have cut down the trees and sold them for timber, and made a great profit from selling it. And we have hunted the beasts in the field for their hides and their tusks, and the oils from their flesh, and the fish in the sea and the birds in the air, and have made profit from selling them. And we have stripped the hills in the garden and mined the earth under them, and drilled for the oil that comes from the rocks beneath and the gases that dwell in the spaces between, and we sold the ore and minerals and oil and gas, and likewise made a great profit from selling them. And we have amassed our wealth, and have taken dominion over other gardens on the earth, and have cut their timber, and mined their hills for ore and minerals and oil and gas, and have sold them for an even greater profit. And we have established industries on the banks of the river, where the water carries away the wastes that the industries produce, and the breezes over the trees carry the smoke and gases from the fires that are used in producing the goods in those industries, and we have made an even greater profit. And in time, we had the use of the whole earth to ourselves, and the seas as well, and we traveled into the heavens and took over the moon and stars. For you yourself, O God, have said to us, that we shall enjoy the fruits of creation, and live abundantly on the land. And we could not live more abundantly than when we had taken the riches out of the earth and accumulated great wealth for ourselves. And now have we more wealth than you, O Lord, and you have no power over us.” And the man was very proud, for that he and his wife had amassed more wealth to themselves than God, and they believed, that he has no power over them.
And the Lord God said to the man, “From where did you accumulate this wealth that you speak of?” And the man said to God, “We have created this wealth, it is called money. We have made it to show how wealthy we are, and how much power we have over heaven and earth.” And the Lord said to the man, “I have given you heaven and earth, which I have created, so that you may share in my joy what I have created. Why were not you satisfied, with that which I have created, that you must create to yourself this wealth, which not I but you have created, in the pursuit of which you have cut down the trees, and stripped the hills till they were bare, and killed the beasts in the field, and the fish in the sea and the birds in the air, and spilled poisons into the water and the air, and otherwise have destroyed that which I have created?”
And the man said to the Lord God, “I saw how good the land was for making profit, after the woman gave me to eat fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.” “Why have you eaten of the tree, of which I have commanded you, you shall not eat?” And the man said, “The woman gave me the fruit to eat.” And God said to the woman, “Who gave you the fruit of this tree?” And the woman looked around, but she did not see the serpent, who had said to her, that she should not surely die, if she eat the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. And she said, “The man told you that I had given him the fruit to eat, but it was he who said to me, that we should cut down the trees, and strip the hills bare, and kill the beasts in the field and the seas and the air, and poison the rivers and the clouds with industrial wastes, and he bade me obey him, for he said to me, that is the will of God, that a woman obey her husband, and be silent and submissive before him. And so I obeyed him, and was his helpmate in accumulating the wealth which we have accumulated for ourselves, for I believed it to be your will.”
And the Lord God cursed the man and the woman, saying, “Because you have done this, you are condemned to live your life in what you have created. I gave you the heavens and the earth, the sea and the dry land, and the plants bearing fruit and the beasts which crept forth from the mud in the seas, but you, Man, have taken that which I have wished to share with you in my joy, and destroyed it for what you have judged to be of the greatest value. In my sadness for creation I would restore it to that glory which I put into it at its beginning, but you would only destroy it anew.” And so the Lord God left the man and the woman in the garden, with the trees that had been cut down, and the hills that had been stripped bare, and the carcasses of the dead beasts in the field and the fish floating in the poisoned sea and the birds which had fallen from the sky, and the rivers filled with wastes and the clouds of smoke, and took up for his dwelling place a remote cloud above the smoke and gas which had filled the air over the earth.
And the man and the woman were filled with pride, for they had proved that they had power enough to remove God to the heavens, and take over the earth for themselves. And in their tongues they continued to give glory and honor to God, but in their hearts they no longer rejoiced in his goodness, but trusted only in their own power and in their own wealth, for with all their power and wealth they believed they had no need for God. No longer did they dance with the Lord the dance of eternal happiness, and drink with him from the cup of unending goodness, for they said to themselves, “It is not good for us to dance and to drink, for dancing distracts us from our quest for wealth, and drink confuses us, and we cannot manage the great wealth which we have accumulated to ourselves.”
And it came to pass, that the woman bore sons to the man, and they learned from their father the means of accumulating great wealth and profit, and they moved into other gardens, and cut down their trees for timber, and stripped their hills for ore and minerals and the oil in the rocks and the gas in the caves, and hunted the beasts of the field and the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, and built industries by the rivers, and poured their wastes into the rivers, and clouds of smoke and gas rose into the air. And the rains came down from the clouds in the air, and the land and the ocean were poisoned from the smoke and the gas that rose into the air, and nothing would grow on the land or in the sea, for the ground was no longer rich and fertile, nor was the water clean. And the sons waged war against each other, and destroyed the land in quest for dominion.
And the Lord God watched this from his throne in the clouds, and the Lord God said, “The times are coming when the heavens and the earth will no longer sustain life, for the man has poisoned the land so that it is no longer rich and fertile, and the waters are no longer good and clean.” And the Lord God said, “The man who depends on the fruit of the trees and the beasts of the field, and the fish in the sea and the birds in the air, to give him life, will kill all the blessing that I have given to him, so that he may accumulate much wealth for himself.”
But the wealth was no aid to the man. Once he killed the trees of the forest and the grains on the earth, and had brought the beasts of the field and the fish of the sea and the birds in the air to extinction, no wealth could buy these creatures back. And the man was left alone among the forests where all the trees had been cut down, and the hills which had been stripped and mined and left barren and bare, and the fields where no beast dwelt nor plant grew, and the rivers whose water was too poisoned to drink, and the man said to himself, “The Lord will deliver us from this earth, which has become barren.”
And the Lord God looked down upon the earth, and on the man, and he said, “The man has become too proud in his thoughts,” and he did not deliver the man in his time of need. And the man said to himself, “The Lord God is powerless to deliver us from the earth, yet we can deliver ourselves, with the great wealth which we have accumulated for ourselves.” And the man and his sons cut more trees, and stripped more hills, and hunted more beasts, and built more industries, and polluted more rivers, and accumulated more wealth for themselves. And they were proud, and said to themselves, “This wealth which we have accumulated to ourselves will deliver us in our time of need; we have no need for God.”
And the sun shone down and scorched the barren earth, and the beasts and vegetation wasted away, and there was no sustenance to be found on the earth, or in the sea. And the man and his sons spent their wealth in acquiring food and clean water, and their wealth was spent away, and the earth bore no more fruit to feed the man and his sons. And the man and his sons saw that their wealth would no longer provide for them, and in their desperation they cried out to the Lord God, saying “Surely the Lord our God will deliver us in our time of need.” And the earth became more barren than before, and the man knew hunger, and there was no relief. And the man said, “The Lord God has abandoned us in our need.” And a voice came from heaven, and the Lord said to the man, “I have not abandoned you; indeed, you have abandoned the Lord your God, and put yourselves in his place, and placed your trust in that which you have created, instead of placing your trust in him who created you and gave you life.”
And the man cried to the Lord, saying, “Deliver us, Lord, for we shall surely die so long as the earth remains barren.” And the Lord said to the man, “I have given all there is in heaven and on earth to give, to you and to your sons, and you have wasted the fruit of the earth to pursue that which you have created. Nothing remains that can deliver you and your seed; your deliverance you have devoured for your pride and your vanity.” And the man said to the Lord, “We will surely die if you do not deliver us.” And the Lord said to the man, “You in your wealth which you have created can deliver yourself.” And the man called his sons to himself, and he said to them, “The Lord our God will not deliver us, but he has said to me that we might deliver ourselves with the wealth which we have created.” And the sons said to the father, “The wealth which we have created is all spent, and nothing remains on the earth to give us life.”
And the man cursed the Lord, saying, “Cursed be the Lord our God, who has abandoned us to death. We have been faithful to him, and have called upon his name, and have given glory to him, and he has rewarded our faithfulness in leaving us to die on this miserable earth.” The Lord heard this, and he answered the man, saying, “When have you been faithful to me?” The man said, “Lord, we have honored your name as you have commanded, and I have taught my sons to honor the name of the Lord.”
And the Lord God said to the man and his sons: “Your faithfulness to me has been vanity; the honor which you have bestowed upon me has been nothing but empty utterances. You have said that you honor me, when in truth you have honored yourself and your great wealth. You have not trusted in the goodness of the Lord; but you have destroyed that which the Lord has created, to serve and honor that which you have created. It is well that you curse that to which you give honor and glory, for that has indeed abandoned you; but that to which you give honor and glory, is not the name of the Lord your God, but the wealth you have created and accumulated for yourself. Your wealth has proved unable to deliver you in the hour of your need, and all you need for life you have destroyed for your god, which is that powerless and empty wealth. Listen to me: I had commanded you, saying that you may eat the fruit of any tree in the garden, but you shall not eat the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it, you shall surely die. When you ate from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, you acquired the desire for wealth which you have created, and contempt for the beauty of the earth which the Lord your God has created. And when you cut down the trees of the garden, the first tree which fell was the Tree of Life.”
And the man wasted away, and perished from the earth, and all his sons likewise, for their great wealth was not enough to redeem them from their trouble. And the heaven and the earth passed away, for they had become poisoned and barren and could no longer give life. And the Lord God sat alone after that in the darkness.
2001
If "Work Sucks," Blame the Bosses: Managers in Mike Judge's Office Space
(This is a model of a critical essay that I wrote for my writing students.)
In 1999, Twentieth-Century Fox released Mike Judge's debut live-action movie, Office Space. The studio did little to promote the movie, and it performed dismally in theaters, only to be a surprising success in the DVD market (Waxman). One possible reason for Fox's reluctance to promote the movie is that Judge satirizes the workplace in corporate America in ways that the studio found uncomfortable, considering Fox's relationship to conservative media mogul Rupert Murdoch. The movie’s DVD success, however, indicates that the story’s ideas about the corporate work environment have struck a chord with audiences who identify with characters in the movie. Office Space shows an environment in which employees do their jobs under the oppressive eye of managers who show a lack of interest in doing their jobs out of fear of confrontation with their employees. Peter Gibbons (Ron Livingston) works as a software engineer at Initech with fellow engineers Michael Bolton (David Herman) and Samir Nainanajad (Ajay Naidu), while Peter’s girlfriend Joanna (Jennifer Aniston) works as a waitress at a restaurant named Chotchkie's that resembles corporate chain restaurants like Chili's and Applebee's. All four characters work under the supervision of bosses who, rather than help them do their jobs more efficiently, make life miserable for them. In the characters Lumbergh (Gary Cole), the Bobs (John C. McGinley and Paul Wilson), and Stan (Mike Judge, credited as "William King"), Mike Judge presents three examples of managers who display passive-aggressive behavior, obsess over irrelevant details while ignoring the quality of employees' work, and are rarely—if ever—seen doing any actual work themselves.
The managers in Office Space all display passive-aggressive behavior to some degree in an effort to avoid confrontations with their employees. Lumbergh talks to his employees in a slow, soft-spoken manner, repeating phrases like "Mmmmm…yeah…" and "If you could go ahead and.…" His unwillingness to add variety to his conversations suggests an unwillingness to interact with his employees on any deep, meaningful level. Such variety would require more effort than Lumbergh apparently believes his employees are worth. The Bobs also display similar behaviors while they conduct interviews to determine which employees are dispensable. They engage the employees in small talk about the singer Michael Bolton, and they state explicitly that they like to "avoid confrontation." Avoiding a discussion of their actual job, they hide behind euphemisms like "efficiency experts" and "doing a little housecleaning" (one of them even wags his fingers to represent quotation marks when he says "housecleaning"). They even avoid dismissing employees till the end of the week, and rather than admitting that they do this because they are afraid of confrontation, they offer the excuse that "studies have statistically shown" that firing people on Friday offers a minimal chance of any confrontation. Not only are they afraid to do what they are paid to do, they are unwilling to admit that fear, hiding behind a vague reference to studies that probably do not even exist. Stan, the manager of Chotchkie's, displays a fear of telling Joanna that he wants her to wear more flair (buttons on her suspenders) by saying that "if you want to wear the bare minimum, that's fine, but some people choose to wear more, and we encourage that." He does not have the courage to ask Joanna to wear more flair directly, apparently because he is afraid of how she will react to such a direct request. All of the managers in Office Space, through the demonstration of passive-aggressive behavior, reveal a fear of actually doing the jobs they are paid to do, rather than demonstrating the courage to interact directly with employees in the way that managers should be expected to.
Not only do these managers display passive aggressive behavior, they also seem to obsess on irrelevant details while ignoring the quality of work that their employees actually do. Lumbergh shows no concern for Peter's work other than the fact that Peter had forgotten to put a new cover sheet on a TPS report. Bill never discusses the content of those TPS reports, and he never mentions Peter's job—as he relates to Joanna—to update bank software for the 2000 switch. The Bobs needle the employees of Initech on increasingly minute details of their work until they can identify a justification for terminating each employee, such as asking Tom to explain his job in detail until they can determine that "He's useless. Gone!" Bob and Bob appear amicable with Michael Bolton while they are talking about the singer with the same name, but the smiles leave their faces when Michael tells them that "you can just call me Mike." The audience is left wondering if that is, in fact, the moment at which the Bobs decide that Michael is dispensable. Joanna's boss Stan does not interact with her for any reason other than to discuss her flair; more specifically, the fact that she wears only the minimum fifteen pieces while another employee wears thirty-seven. He never discusses the quality of service that she gives to her customers; in fact, he tells her that "people can get a cheeseburger anywhere. They come to Chotchkie's for the atmosphere and the attitude." By saying this, he suggests that food, the primary product that restaurants offer, comes secondary in importance—if at all—to the wait staff's external appearance. Like the display of passive-aggressive behavior, the obsession with minor, even trivial, details suggests that the managers in Office Space are unconcerned with the quality of work that their employees do. They seem to believe that focusing on unimportant aspects of the job excuses an unwillingness to discuss important matters more relevant to their employees' jobs, as if they are afraid to interact on a deeper level out of fear of conflict.
In addition to displaying passive-aggressive behavior and focusing on ultimately unimportant details, Mike Judge carefully portrays the managers in Office Space so that they are not seen doing any actual work. Lumbergh is never seen in his office, and he is never seen with as much as a pen in hand. Instead, he spends his work day wandering around the office, coffee mug in hand, interacting with his employees on nothing more than a surface level. Even the meetings that take place at Initech show Lumbergh talking slowly and discussing insignificant matters like "Hawaiian Shirt Day" at the office. Peter, Michael, and Samir are seen in their cubicles, working at their computers or struggling with a malfunctioning printer, while Lumbergh never does anything that even remotely suggests what kind of business Initech does. Bob and Bob are hired to downsize Initech by laying off staff that they judge inessential, and yet they are never seen doing that at all. By hiding behind euphemisms and fictional studies to justify their avoidance of doing their jobs, they demonstrate a fear of doing the work that they are hired to do. By wanting to "avoid confrontation," they reveal a fear of doing a job that, of necessity, involves confrontation. Stan also never appears on screen doing any work related to managing a restaurant. He only materializes long enough to admonish Joanna about her flair, "or lack of flair," without even admonishing her directly. All of these managers hide behind activities that each workplace can do without, avoiding doing anything that would actually contribute to an efficient environment.
Judge sets the action of Office Space in the context of a downsizing program at Initech, where consultants identify and then terminate employees whom they determine to be inessential to the efficient operation of the workplace so that profits can increase. Ironically, the least essential employees in Office Space are the very managers who seek to terminate employees on the basis of details ultimately irrelevant to the quality of work that each employee does. By showing managers who display passive-aggressive behaviors, obsess over unimportant details, and even avoid doing the jobs that they are paid to do, Judge suggests to his audience that managers are less important to a business's operations than the employees that they treat as unimportant. Without managers like Lumbergh, the Bobs, and Stan, work environments like Initech and Chotchkie's would, in fact, run much more smoothly than with them around to distract their employees with counter-productive behaviors. The DVD case and movie posters for Office Space display the tag line "Work sucks," and the movie suggests to its audiences that work would suck much less without these managers.
Works Cited
Office Space. Dir. Mike Judge. Perf. Ron Livingstone, Stephen Root, Gary Cole,
Jennifer Aniston. Twentieth-Century Fox. 1999.
Waxman, Sharon. “Studios Rush to Cash In on DVD Boom; Swelling Demand for Disks
Alters Hollywood’s Arithmetic.” 20 April, 2004. The New York Times on the
Web. The New York Times Company. 26 June 2008.
In 1999, Twentieth-Century Fox released Mike Judge's debut live-action movie, Office Space. The studio did little to promote the movie, and it performed dismally in theaters, only to be a surprising success in the DVD market (Waxman). One possible reason for Fox's reluctance to promote the movie is that Judge satirizes the workplace in corporate America in ways that the studio found uncomfortable, considering Fox's relationship to conservative media mogul Rupert Murdoch. The movie’s DVD success, however, indicates that the story’s ideas about the corporate work environment have struck a chord with audiences who identify with characters in the movie. Office Space shows an environment in which employees do their jobs under the oppressive eye of managers who show a lack of interest in doing their jobs out of fear of confrontation with their employees. Peter Gibbons (Ron Livingston) works as a software engineer at Initech with fellow engineers Michael Bolton (David Herman) and Samir Nainanajad (Ajay Naidu), while Peter’s girlfriend Joanna (Jennifer Aniston) works as a waitress at a restaurant named Chotchkie's that resembles corporate chain restaurants like Chili's and Applebee's. All four characters work under the supervision of bosses who, rather than help them do their jobs more efficiently, make life miserable for them. In the characters Lumbergh (Gary Cole), the Bobs (John C. McGinley and Paul Wilson), and Stan (Mike Judge, credited as "William King"), Mike Judge presents three examples of managers who display passive-aggressive behavior, obsess over irrelevant details while ignoring the quality of employees' work, and are rarely—if ever—seen doing any actual work themselves.
The managers in Office Space all display passive-aggressive behavior to some degree in an effort to avoid confrontations with their employees. Lumbergh talks to his employees in a slow, soft-spoken manner, repeating phrases like "Mmmmm…yeah…" and "If you could go ahead and.…" His unwillingness to add variety to his conversations suggests an unwillingness to interact with his employees on any deep, meaningful level. Such variety would require more effort than Lumbergh apparently believes his employees are worth. The Bobs also display similar behaviors while they conduct interviews to determine which employees are dispensable. They engage the employees in small talk about the singer Michael Bolton, and they state explicitly that they like to "avoid confrontation." Avoiding a discussion of their actual job, they hide behind euphemisms like "efficiency experts" and "doing a little housecleaning" (one of them even wags his fingers to represent quotation marks when he says "housecleaning"). They even avoid dismissing employees till the end of the week, and rather than admitting that they do this because they are afraid of confrontation, they offer the excuse that "studies have statistically shown" that firing people on Friday offers a minimal chance of any confrontation. Not only are they afraid to do what they are paid to do, they are unwilling to admit that fear, hiding behind a vague reference to studies that probably do not even exist. Stan, the manager of Chotchkie's, displays a fear of telling Joanna that he wants her to wear more flair (buttons on her suspenders) by saying that "if you want to wear the bare minimum, that's fine, but some people choose to wear more, and we encourage that." He does not have the courage to ask Joanna to wear more flair directly, apparently because he is afraid of how she will react to such a direct request. All of the managers in Office Space, through the demonstration of passive-aggressive behavior, reveal a fear of actually doing the jobs they are paid to do, rather than demonstrating the courage to interact directly with employees in the way that managers should be expected to.
Not only do these managers display passive aggressive behavior, they also seem to obsess on irrelevant details while ignoring the quality of work that their employees actually do. Lumbergh shows no concern for Peter's work other than the fact that Peter had forgotten to put a new cover sheet on a TPS report. Bill never discusses the content of those TPS reports, and he never mentions Peter's job—as he relates to Joanna—to update bank software for the 2000 switch. The Bobs needle the employees of Initech on increasingly minute details of their work until they can identify a justification for terminating each employee, such as asking Tom to explain his job in detail until they can determine that "He's useless. Gone!" Bob and Bob appear amicable with Michael Bolton while they are talking about the singer with the same name, but the smiles leave their faces when Michael tells them that "you can just call me Mike." The audience is left wondering if that is, in fact, the moment at which the Bobs decide that Michael is dispensable. Joanna's boss Stan does not interact with her for any reason other than to discuss her flair; more specifically, the fact that she wears only the minimum fifteen pieces while another employee wears thirty-seven. He never discusses the quality of service that she gives to her customers; in fact, he tells her that "people can get a cheeseburger anywhere. They come to Chotchkie's for the atmosphere and the attitude." By saying this, he suggests that food, the primary product that restaurants offer, comes secondary in importance—if at all—to the wait staff's external appearance. Like the display of passive-aggressive behavior, the obsession with minor, even trivial, details suggests that the managers in Office Space are unconcerned with the quality of work that their employees do. They seem to believe that focusing on unimportant aspects of the job excuses an unwillingness to discuss important matters more relevant to their employees' jobs, as if they are afraid to interact on a deeper level out of fear of conflict.
In addition to displaying passive-aggressive behavior and focusing on ultimately unimportant details, Mike Judge carefully portrays the managers in Office Space so that they are not seen doing any actual work. Lumbergh is never seen in his office, and he is never seen with as much as a pen in hand. Instead, he spends his work day wandering around the office, coffee mug in hand, interacting with his employees on nothing more than a surface level. Even the meetings that take place at Initech show Lumbergh talking slowly and discussing insignificant matters like "Hawaiian Shirt Day" at the office. Peter, Michael, and Samir are seen in their cubicles, working at their computers or struggling with a malfunctioning printer, while Lumbergh never does anything that even remotely suggests what kind of business Initech does. Bob and Bob are hired to downsize Initech by laying off staff that they judge inessential, and yet they are never seen doing that at all. By hiding behind euphemisms and fictional studies to justify their avoidance of doing their jobs, they demonstrate a fear of doing the work that they are hired to do. By wanting to "avoid confrontation," they reveal a fear of doing a job that, of necessity, involves confrontation. Stan also never appears on screen doing any work related to managing a restaurant. He only materializes long enough to admonish Joanna about her flair, "or lack of flair," without even admonishing her directly. All of these managers hide behind activities that each workplace can do without, avoiding doing anything that would actually contribute to an efficient environment.
Judge sets the action of Office Space in the context of a downsizing program at Initech, where consultants identify and then terminate employees whom they determine to be inessential to the efficient operation of the workplace so that profits can increase. Ironically, the least essential employees in Office Space are the very managers who seek to terminate employees on the basis of details ultimately irrelevant to the quality of work that each employee does. By showing managers who display passive-aggressive behaviors, obsess over unimportant details, and even avoid doing the jobs that they are paid to do, Judge suggests to his audience that managers are less important to a business's operations than the employees that they treat as unimportant. Without managers like Lumbergh, the Bobs, and Stan, work environments like Initech and Chotchkie's would, in fact, run much more smoothly than with them around to distract their employees with counter-productive behaviors. The DVD case and movie posters for Office Space display the tag line "Work sucks," and the movie suggests to its audiences that work would suck much less without these managers.
Works Cited
Office Space. Dir. Mike Judge. Perf. Ron Livingstone, Stephen Root, Gary Cole,
Jennifer Aniston. Twentieth-Century Fox. 1999.
Waxman, Sharon. “Studios Rush to Cash In on DVD Boom; Swelling Demand for Disks
Alters Hollywood’s Arithmetic.” 20 April, 2004. The New York Times on the
Web. The New York Times Company. 26 June 2008.
Words, Deeds, and the Construction of Power in Ælfric’s “Life of Saint Agnes”
Words, Deeds, and the Construction of Power in Ælfric’s “Life of Saint Agnes”
The Benedictine Revival of the late tenth century resulted in the height of prose text production in Old English, and it is to this period of revival that the abbot Ælfric of Eynsham belongs. Ælfric compiled two volumes of homilies between 985 and 995, and a third volume, titled Lives of Saints in Skeat’s edition, between the years 990 and 1002 (Treharne 116, 130). In his Latin introduction to Lives of Saints, Ælfric writes that while he included lives of saints who had been commemorated in English parish churches in the first two volumes, he dedicated the third to saints whose feast days were kept in English monasteries (2). In his Lives of Saints, however, Ælfric translated more than written testimonies to the holiness of saints. The social and historical contexts of the events Ælfric relates in his “Life of Saint Agnes,” for example, illuminate how the text is more than simply a story celebrating a saint’s memory. In addition to the distribution of active and passive voice verbs and constructions using the modal verbs “dorste” and “mihte,” the balance of directive speech acts between Agnes and Simpronius creates an equality of power between social unequals through which Ælfric’s text becomes a translation, not only of a story celebrating the memory of an early Roman saint, but also of a discourse on the relationship between spiritual and secular power.
To use Foucault’s modes of objectification as a template for approaching this text (208), the circumstances of Agnes’ encounter with Simpronius—her trial, condemnation, and execution—constitute the “dividing practices” through which Agnes is labeled a criminal and thus isolated and separated from Roman society. In the text, Simpronius “mid swiðlicum gehlyde hét hí gefeccan hám to his dóm-setle” (“with a loud voice bade fetch her home to his judgment-seat,” 81-82). Following attempts to influence her through flatteries and threats, he commands that Agnes be led to a brothel and stripped naked (141-43). After the crowd of Romans demands her execution, Simpronius’ deputy Aspasius attempts to have Agnes burned and orders her put to death by sword (216-22, 243-44). These events form the framework of Agnes’ trial and martyrdom, by which she is isolated from the pagan Roman society of Simpronius, his son, his deputy Aspasius, and the crowd of Romans (207-10, 174-180, 241-42). The Romans expect this process of isolation to eliminate the resistance that Agnes represents to their world, either by forcing her to surrender to the gods of Rome and the attentions of Simpronius’ son or by removing her altogether through her execution.
In addition to the trial and execution that divide Agnes from the world in which she lives, her position in the Roman society—as well as Simpronius’—form a significant element in what becomes, for Foucault, the second mode of objectification, what he would call “scientific classification” (208)—in this case, the social classifications that determine the power relationships between two figures who, in their Roman world, are social unequals. Ælfric identifies Agnes as “sum æðel-boren mæden…binnan rome byrig…on ðam þritteoþðan geara” (“a noble maiden…in the city of Rome…in her thirteenth year,” 6-10), and her principal opponent Simpronius as “ge-set ofer ða burh to heah-gerefan, and wæs hæðen-gilda” (“who was set over the city [to rule] as prefect, and who was an idolator,” 15-16). Agnes’ identity as a twelve-year-old Roman girl of noble birth and her judge’s identity as Roman prefect give clues to the social classifications that determine what the reader should expect of their behavior.
Both exist in a social structure that was created and maintained to reflect the empire’s and the Emperor’s power over their subjects and against neighboring sovereignties (Garnsey and Saller 117). As such, Agnes’ and Simpronius’ relationship to each other follows and strengthens those Roman conventions of power and authority that validate the Emperor’s own power and authority. Three factors commonly determined a Roman’s position in society: the social hierarchy itself, family relationships, and relationships between patrons and their clients that extended beyond family and social structure (Garnsey and Saller 148). The “Life of Saint Agnes” does not completely define Agnes’ and Simpronius’ positions in Roman society in terms of all three of these factors, but by identifying Simpronius as prefect over the city and Agnes as a twelve-year-old girl, the text gives enough information to suggest the power and authority that Simpronius should hold over Agnes.
Simpronius’ identity as prefect over Rome defines him in an official capacity, in relation to the legal and political structures of the city that ultimately identify him with the Emperor. As prefect of the city, Simpronius fills a position that existed in some form as early as the Roman kingdom. In his Annals, Tacitus writes that Romulus appointed Denter Romulius to execute the responsibilities of government in his absence (201). In the days of the Republic, the consuls reduced such officials to a more ceremonial function, while Augustus restored the office of prefect to a position of administering to the legal and political needs of the city (201-202). As prefect of the city and the emperor’s delegate to administer justice in Rome, Simpronius represents a social and political order in which Garnsey and Saller write that “putting everyone in his proper place was a visual affirmation of the dominance of the imperial social structure, and one calculated to impress the bulk of the population of the empire” (117). In exercising the authority to enforce laws that Agnes is judged guilty of violating in the “Life of Saint Agnes,” Simpronius embodies the political and legal power of the Roman Empire.
Agnes’ social position in “The Life of Saint Agnes” is determined not by any official function by her sex and age; namely, that she is a twelve-year-old girl. As such, she is identified in her world only as her father’s daughter. According to the ideals of imperial Roman society, she falls under her father’s power (patria potestas) along with her mother, her siblings, and any children her brothers might have (Garnsey and Saller 127). Although the “Life of Saint Agnes” explicitly states her noble birth, that status depends on her relationship with her father, without whom she has no social position. Her identity is wholly determined by that relationship, while Simpronius’ official capacity as prefect over the city determines his identity, and thus the “Life of Saint Agnes” presents Agnes as having significantly less political and social power than Simpronius.
In her words and actions in the text, however, Agnes exercises as much if not more power than Simpronius, a process through which she asserts her own identity as more than a criminal or a young Roman girl and becomes a subject against her society’s efforts to make an object of her, in what for Foucault would be the third mode of objectification, the “way a human being turns him- or herself into a subject” (208). The balance of power between Agnes and Simpronius in the text frustrates expectations of the Roman social order in favor of Christian values, articulated by such writers as Saint Augustine of Hippo and Saint Benedict of Nursia. In The City of God, Augustine writes that “we must ascribe to the true God alone the power to grant kingdoms and empires” (215). God, and not the Emperor, is for Augustine the source of not only spiritual but also even of earthly power. Benedict commanded a preference for spiritual over earthly power in his Rule: “Your way of acting should be different from the world’s way; the love of Christ must come before all else” (12). The preference for Christ over the secular world of which Augustine and Benedict write present a radical overthrow of the pagan Roman order under which Simpronius would normally be expected to exercise social and political superiority to Agnes. The spoken words and actions attributed to Simpronius and Agnes in the “Life of Saint Agnes” reflect concepts of secular and spiritual power that come from the Christian context within which Ælfric writes.
Ælfric’s translation reveals a distribution of modal constructions (specifically, the verbs “ne dorste” and “ne mihte”, “dared not” and “could not”), as well as a use of active and passive voice verb phrases of which Agnes and Simpronius are the subjects. These verb phrases violate Agnes’ identity as Simpronius’ social inferior; at the very least, they cast her as Simpronius’ social equal, giving her power that does not come from the Emperor as does Simpronius’ power. Three modal verb phrases appear in Ælfric’s “Life of Saint Agnes” in clauses of which Agnes or Simpronius are the subject, and an additional two of which Simpronius’ deputy Aspasius is the subject. All of these phrases indicate actions of which their subjects are incapable, as they are negated with the adverb “ne” (“not”). At the beginning of her confrontation with the prefect, Agnes “ni mihte beon bepæht þurh ænige lyffetunge fram hire leofan drihtne“ (“could not be allured by any flattery from her beloved Lord,” 85). Rendered in passive voice, the phrase “ni mihte beon bepæht” indicates an action that could not be performed on Agnes, rather than one that Agnes herself could not perform, and so comments less on Agnes’ abilities than on Simpronius’ inabilities. After the saint restores his son to life later in the text, Simpronius loses both the power to carry out the laws of Rome which demand Agnes’ execution and the power to save her from the pagan crowd that insists on her execution. The two modal phrases “ne dorste…naht ongean þa hæðen-gyldan” (“durst do nothing against the heathen,” 211) and “ne mihte þæt mæden ahreddan” (“could not save the maiden,” 214) near the end of the prefect’s interaction with Agnes refer to actions that Simpronius could not perform himself, as Ælfric writes these in active voice. In all three of these cases, the use of modal verb phrases underscores Simpronius’ loss of power, to persuade Agnes through flattery and then through threats, and to save her after she had saved his son. After realizing his inability either to protect the girl or to carry out the sentence against her, Simpronius delegates Aspasius to dispatch her, and the two modal phrases of which Aspasius is the subject suggest an inability to act on his part. Before he finally orders the sentence carried out “mid cwealm-bærum swurde” (“with death-bearing sword,” 244), Aspasius “ne mihte wið-cwæðan þam cwealm-bærum folce” (“could not oppose the blood-thirsty people,”217) and “ne mihte…þa micclan ceaste acuman” (“could not withstand the great tumult,” 243). In the realm of modal verb phrases, even Aspasius could not help Simpronius assert his authority, nor, by extension, the Emperor’s.
Simpronius is the subject of twenty-three active voice verb phrases (including the modal phrases above which indicate actions that the prefect could not perform), while Agnes is the subject of nineteen active voice phrases before Simpronius’ departure from the action and four afterwards, including two referring to appearances to her parents and to Constantine’s daughter Constantia after her martyrdom. Through this distribution of active voice phrases, Ælfric portrays Agnes with as much power to determine her own course of action as Simpronius, if not more. In the passive voice category, the prefect “wearð þa gesæd þæt heo fram cild-hade sona cristen wære” (“it was then told him that she had been a Christian,” 78), and Agnes “swa mid dry-cræfte afylled þæt heo crist tealde hire to bryd-guman” (“so filled with delusion that she accounted Christ as being her bridegroom,” 79-80) and “ni mihte beon bepæht þurh ænige lyffetunge” (“could not be allured by any flattery,” 85-86). The phrase “swa mid dry-cræfte afylled” refers only to an allegation against Agnes that she is filled with delusion, which the subsequent action in the text reveals not to be the case. The second passive voice phrase of which Agnes is the subject has already been examined in the discussion of modal verbs as revealing Simpronius’ inability to act upon her. Ælfric’s use of active and passive voice verb phrases counters the demands of Agnes’ and Simpronius’ social context in articulating a social and authoritative equality between a Roman prefect whose authority derives from the Emperor and a twelve-year-old girl whom society would define as her father’s daughter before marriage and her husband’s wife after.
In addition to the distribution of modal phrases and verbs rendered in passive and active voice relating to Agnes’ and Simpronius’ actions, Ælfric’s translation of the “Life of Saint Agnes” reveals how the saint’s and the prefect’s words, and especially the commands they make, upset the objectification of Agnes that her trial and execution, as well as their roles in Roman society, would suggest. Ælfric ascribes four commands to Simpronius and three to Aspasius in reported speech, with the verb “hét” (“commanded, bade”), while he makes no indirect citations to Agnes giving commands in this way. The prefect and his deputy direct these seven commands to servants and to the crowd of Roman pagans who witness Agnes’ trial, and not to the saint herself, although she is the direct object of four of the actions commanded. Through the use of directive speech acts which Ælfric attributes both to Agnes and to Simpronius in direct discourse, however, the saint decisively establishes an authority equal to the prefect’s. The theory of speech acts that originated with John Austin and John Searle facilitates the analysis of spoken language as that language performs a variety of actions. One of five categories of speech acts in Searle’s classification, directive speech acts, often commands and requests, implies a position of power on the speaker’s part. Ælfric’s text ascribes four directives to Simpronius, and eight to Agnes.
Ælfric’s use of directives articulates the notions of power at play in the “Life of Saint Agnes.” Obviously the prefect Simpronius is in a position of power to issue commands. But he makes only four directive speech acts in this text. Agnes fulfills the command articulated in only one of the four directives that Simpronius addresses to her. When his son is struck dead in the brothel, Simpronius challenges Agnes to revive him through prayer: “þin saga bið ge-swutelod gif þu þone sylfan encgel bitst” (“Thy saying will be manifested if thou wilt pray the self-same angel,” 193). Agnes’ prayers successfully effect the prefect’s son’s restoration, after which the youth shouts praises to God and the crowd accuses Agnes of witchcraft (198-210). Because she obeys only one command that the prefect addresses to her in the text, and specifically that command that leads to a manifestation of Christ’s power, Ælfric demonstrates that Agnes’ power—which comes from God—is greater than Simpronius’—which comes from the Emperor.
Agnes makes eight directive speech acts in the text, twice as many as Simpronius. Agnes addresses only four of the directive speech acts to Simpronius that Ælfric attributes to her; she makes directives also to the prefect’s son, to her parents, and to Constantia, while one of the directives addressed to Simpronius is spoken also to the crowd of pagans who accompany the prefect’s son into the brothel. Three of the commands Agnes addresses to Simpronius cannot be fulfilled according to her beliefs. While he interrogates her and attempts to make her yield to paganism through threats of violence from the Roman gods, the saint responds “Læt þine godas geyrsian gif hi aht magon,” (“Let thy gods be angry if they can do aught,” 113) “Læt hi sylfe beodan þæt we us to him gebiddan,” (“let themselves command us to worship them,” 114) and “gif þu þis dón ne miht drece us loca hu þu wille” (“if thou canst not accomplish this, afflict us, lo! how thou wilt,” 115). Agnes’ words come less as a request for action than as an insinuation of the Roman gods’ impotence. Earlier in the text, at the point of Agnes’ first encounter with Simpronius’ son, Ælfric does not specifically state that the prefect’s son carries out the action to which her first spoken words refer, “Gewít ðu fram me synne ontendnys” (“Depart thou from me, thou fuel of sin,” 25), but Simpronius’ son immediately becomes angry and sick after Agnes rejects his overtures (63-66), so her words have the ability to affect his physical and mental state. In the brothel, after the prefect challenges Agnes to revive his son, she issues the command “Gað eow nu þeah ealle út . þæt ic mé ana gebidde.” (“Go ye now therefore all out, that I may pray alone,” 198), and the crowd immediately departs. The three remaining directives that Ælfric attributes to Agnes occur not only after Simpronius has left her in the hands of his deputy, but indeed after her martyrdom. When Agnes appears to her parents in the company of virgins, she advises her mother and father “Warniað þæt ge ne wepon me swa swa deade, ac blyssiað mid me,” (“Beware that ye weep not for me as if dead, but rejoice with me,” 255, 256). Ælfric then reports that the vision was “widely spread abroad” (260). Later, Agnes appears to Constantia in a vision, and advises her: “Ongin anrædlice ðu æðele constantia and gelyf ðæt se hælend þe ge-hælen mæge” (“Begin resolutely, thou noble Constantia, and believe that the Saviour has power to heal thee,” 274-75). Ælfric suggests through her ability to make commands even after death, and after Simpronius had been rendered unable to act, that her power is significantly greater than his, and by extension that God’s power is greater than the Emperor’s.
The author of Ælfric’s Latin source places Agnes and Simpronius in the pagan Roman social context in a text reflecting Christian notions of power and authority. Ælfric produced his translation of the text, not in the Roman social context within which Agnes and Simpronius lived, but in that of Anglo-Saxon England, which had been influenced by tenets of the Christian faith since as early as the conversion of Æthelberht of Kent in 597. The use of modal verb phrases, the balance of active and passive voice verbs, and the distribution of directive speech acts accomplish more than merely providing written testimony to the miracles that demonstrate a saint’s holiness. By incorporating a sermon on Christian notions of secular and spiritual power into his Lives of Saints through the “Life of Saint Agnes,” Ælfric demonstrates the capacity of saints’ lives to provide a forum for articulating a Christian worldview in addition to justifying the cult of saints and encouraging audiences to emulate the devotion and holiness for which these men and women have been venerated.
Works Cited
Ælfric of Eynsham. “Natale Sancte Agnetis.” Ælfric’s Lives of Saints. Ed. Walter W.
Skeat. Early English Text Society 76. London, 1881-1900. 170-187.
Foucault, Michel. “The Subject and Power.” Michel Foucault: Beyond Structuralism
and Hermeneutics. Dreyfus, Hubert, and Paul Rabinow. Chicago: UP, 1982.
208-226.
Garnsey, Peter, and Richard Saller. The Roman Empire: Economy, Society and Culture.
Berkeley: University of California Press, 1987.
Grose, M.W., and Deirdre McKenna. Old English Literature. Totowa: Rowman and
Littlefield, 1973.
St. Augustine. City of God. Translated by Henry Bettenson. New York: Penguin, 1972.
Saint Benedict. The Rule of Saint Benedict in English. Ed. Timothy Fry. New York:
Vintage, 1998.
Searle, John R. Expression and Meaning: Studies in the Theory of Speech Acts. New
York: Cambridge UP, 1979.
Tacitus. “The Annals.” The Complete Works of Tacitus. Trans. Alfred Church and
William Brodribb. New York: The Modern Library, 1942. 3-416.
Treharne, Elaine. Old and Middle English: An Anthology. Malden: Blackwell, 2000.
The Benedictine Revival of the late tenth century resulted in the height of prose text production in Old English, and it is to this period of revival that the abbot Ælfric of Eynsham belongs. Ælfric compiled two volumes of homilies between 985 and 995, and a third volume, titled Lives of Saints in Skeat’s edition, between the years 990 and 1002 (Treharne 116, 130). In his Latin introduction to Lives of Saints, Ælfric writes that while he included lives of saints who had been commemorated in English parish churches in the first two volumes, he dedicated the third to saints whose feast days were kept in English monasteries (2). In his Lives of Saints, however, Ælfric translated more than written testimonies to the holiness of saints. The social and historical contexts of the events Ælfric relates in his “Life of Saint Agnes,” for example, illuminate how the text is more than simply a story celebrating a saint’s memory. In addition to the distribution of active and passive voice verbs and constructions using the modal verbs “dorste” and “mihte,” the balance of directive speech acts between Agnes and Simpronius creates an equality of power between social unequals through which Ælfric’s text becomes a translation, not only of a story celebrating the memory of an early Roman saint, but also of a discourse on the relationship between spiritual and secular power.
To use Foucault’s modes of objectification as a template for approaching this text (208), the circumstances of Agnes’ encounter with Simpronius—her trial, condemnation, and execution—constitute the “dividing practices” through which Agnes is labeled a criminal and thus isolated and separated from Roman society. In the text, Simpronius “mid swiðlicum gehlyde hét hí gefeccan hám to his dóm-setle” (“with a loud voice bade fetch her home to his judgment-seat,” 81-82). Following attempts to influence her through flatteries and threats, he commands that Agnes be led to a brothel and stripped naked (141-43). After the crowd of Romans demands her execution, Simpronius’ deputy Aspasius attempts to have Agnes burned and orders her put to death by sword (216-22, 243-44). These events form the framework of Agnes’ trial and martyrdom, by which she is isolated from the pagan Roman society of Simpronius, his son, his deputy Aspasius, and the crowd of Romans (207-10, 174-180, 241-42). The Romans expect this process of isolation to eliminate the resistance that Agnes represents to their world, either by forcing her to surrender to the gods of Rome and the attentions of Simpronius’ son or by removing her altogether through her execution.
In addition to the trial and execution that divide Agnes from the world in which she lives, her position in the Roman society—as well as Simpronius’—form a significant element in what becomes, for Foucault, the second mode of objectification, what he would call “scientific classification” (208)—in this case, the social classifications that determine the power relationships between two figures who, in their Roman world, are social unequals. Ælfric identifies Agnes as “sum æðel-boren mæden…binnan rome byrig…on ðam þritteoþðan geara” (“a noble maiden…in the city of Rome…in her thirteenth year,” 6-10), and her principal opponent Simpronius as “ge-set ofer ða burh to heah-gerefan, and wæs hæðen-gilda” (“who was set over the city [to rule] as prefect, and who was an idolator,” 15-16). Agnes’ identity as a twelve-year-old Roman girl of noble birth and her judge’s identity as Roman prefect give clues to the social classifications that determine what the reader should expect of their behavior.
Both exist in a social structure that was created and maintained to reflect the empire’s and the Emperor’s power over their subjects and against neighboring sovereignties (Garnsey and Saller 117). As such, Agnes’ and Simpronius’ relationship to each other follows and strengthens those Roman conventions of power and authority that validate the Emperor’s own power and authority. Three factors commonly determined a Roman’s position in society: the social hierarchy itself, family relationships, and relationships between patrons and their clients that extended beyond family and social structure (Garnsey and Saller 148). The “Life of Saint Agnes” does not completely define Agnes’ and Simpronius’ positions in Roman society in terms of all three of these factors, but by identifying Simpronius as prefect over the city and Agnes as a twelve-year-old girl, the text gives enough information to suggest the power and authority that Simpronius should hold over Agnes.
Simpronius’ identity as prefect over Rome defines him in an official capacity, in relation to the legal and political structures of the city that ultimately identify him with the Emperor. As prefect of the city, Simpronius fills a position that existed in some form as early as the Roman kingdom. In his Annals, Tacitus writes that Romulus appointed Denter Romulius to execute the responsibilities of government in his absence (201). In the days of the Republic, the consuls reduced such officials to a more ceremonial function, while Augustus restored the office of prefect to a position of administering to the legal and political needs of the city (201-202). As prefect of the city and the emperor’s delegate to administer justice in Rome, Simpronius represents a social and political order in which Garnsey and Saller write that “putting everyone in his proper place was a visual affirmation of the dominance of the imperial social structure, and one calculated to impress the bulk of the population of the empire” (117). In exercising the authority to enforce laws that Agnes is judged guilty of violating in the “Life of Saint Agnes,” Simpronius embodies the political and legal power of the Roman Empire.
Agnes’ social position in “The Life of Saint Agnes” is determined not by any official function by her sex and age; namely, that she is a twelve-year-old girl. As such, she is identified in her world only as her father’s daughter. According to the ideals of imperial Roman society, she falls under her father’s power (patria potestas) along with her mother, her siblings, and any children her brothers might have (Garnsey and Saller 127). Although the “Life of Saint Agnes” explicitly states her noble birth, that status depends on her relationship with her father, without whom she has no social position. Her identity is wholly determined by that relationship, while Simpronius’ official capacity as prefect over the city determines his identity, and thus the “Life of Saint Agnes” presents Agnes as having significantly less political and social power than Simpronius.
In her words and actions in the text, however, Agnes exercises as much if not more power than Simpronius, a process through which she asserts her own identity as more than a criminal or a young Roman girl and becomes a subject against her society’s efforts to make an object of her, in what for Foucault would be the third mode of objectification, the “way a human being turns him- or herself into a subject” (208). The balance of power between Agnes and Simpronius in the text frustrates expectations of the Roman social order in favor of Christian values, articulated by such writers as Saint Augustine of Hippo and Saint Benedict of Nursia. In The City of God, Augustine writes that “we must ascribe to the true God alone the power to grant kingdoms and empires” (215). God, and not the Emperor, is for Augustine the source of not only spiritual but also even of earthly power. Benedict commanded a preference for spiritual over earthly power in his Rule: “Your way of acting should be different from the world’s way; the love of Christ must come before all else” (12). The preference for Christ over the secular world of which Augustine and Benedict write present a radical overthrow of the pagan Roman order under which Simpronius would normally be expected to exercise social and political superiority to Agnes. The spoken words and actions attributed to Simpronius and Agnes in the “Life of Saint Agnes” reflect concepts of secular and spiritual power that come from the Christian context within which Ælfric writes.
Ælfric’s translation reveals a distribution of modal constructions (specifically, the verbs “ne dorste” and “ne mihte”, “dared not” and “could not”), as well as a use of active and passive voice verb phrases of which Agnes and Simpronius are the subjects. These verb phrases violate Agnes’ identity as Simpronius’ social inferior; at the very least, they cast her as Simpronius’ social equal, giving her power that does not come from the Emperor as does Simpronius’ power. Three modal verb phrases appear in Ælfric’s “Life of Saint Agnes” in clauses of which Agnes or Simpronius are the subject, and an additional two of which Simpronius’ deputy Aspasius is the subject. All of these phrases indicate actions of which their subjects are incapable, as they are negated with the adverb “ne” (“not”). At the beginning of her confrontation with the prefect, Agnes “ni mihte beon bepæht þurh ænige lyffetunge fram hire leofan drihtne“ (“could not be allured by any flattery from her beloved Lord,” 85). Rendered in passive voice, the phrase “ni mihte beon bepæht” indicates an action that could not be performed on Agnes, rather than one that Agnes herself could not perform, and so comments less on Agnes’ abilities than on Simpronius’ inabilities. After the saint restores his son to life later in the text, Simpronius loses both the power to carry out the laws of Rome which demand Agnes’ execution and the power to save her from the pagan crowd that insists on her execution. The two modal phrases “ne dorste…naht ongean þa hæðen-gyldan” (“durst do nothing against the heathen,” 211) and “ne mihte þæt mæden ahreddan” (“could not save the maiden,” 214) near the end of the prefect’s interaction with Agnes refer to actions that Simpronius could not perform himself, as Ælfric writes these in active voice. In all three of these cases, the use of modal verb phrases underscores Simpronius’ loss of power, to persuade Agnes through flattery and then through threats, and to save her after she had saved his son. After realizing his inability either to protect the girl or to carry out the sentence against her, Simpronius delegates Aspasius to dispatch her, and the two modal phrases of which Aspasius is the subject suggest an inability to act on his part. Before he finally orders the sentence carried out “mid cwealm-bærum swurde” (“with death-bearing sword,” 244), Aspasius “ne mihte wið-cwæðan þam cwealm-bærum folce” (“could not oppose the blood-thirsty people,”217) and “ne mihte…þa micclan ceaste acuman” (“could not withstand the great tumult,” 243). In the realm of modal verb phrases, even Aspasius could not help Simpronius assert his authority, nor, by extension, the Emperor’s.
Simpronius is the subject of twenty-three active voice verb phrases (including the modal phrases above which indicate actions that the prefect could not perform), while Agnes is the subject of nineteen active voice phrases before Simpronius’ departure from the action and four afterwards, including two referring to appearances to her parents and to Constantine’s daughter Constantia after her martyrdom. Through this distribution of active voice phrases, Ælfric portrays Agnes with as much power to determine her own course of action as Simpronius, if not more. In the passive voice category, the prefect “wearð þa gesæd þæt heo fram cild-hade sona cristen wære” (“it was then told him that she had been a Christian,” 78), and Agnes “swa mid dry-cræfte afylled þæt heo crist tealde hire to bryd-guman” (“so filled with delusion that she accounted Christ as being her bridegroom,” 79-80) and “ni mihte beon bepæht þurh ænige lyffetunge” (“could not be allured by any flattery,” 85-86). The phrase “swa mid dry-cræfte afylled” refers only to an allegation against Agnes that she is filled with delusion, which the subsequent action in the text reveals not to be the case. The second passive voice phrase of which Agnes is the subject has already been examined in the discussion of modal verbs as revealing Simpronius’ inability to act upon her. Ælfric’s use of active and passive voice verb phrases counters the demands of Agnes’ and Simpronius’ social context in articulating a social and authoritative equality between a Roman prefect whose authority derives from the Emperor and a twelve-year-old girl whom society would define as her father’s daughter before marriage and her husband’s wife after.
In addition to the distribution of modal phrases and verbs rendered in passive and active voice relating to Agnes’ and Simpronius’ actions, Ælfric’s translation of the “Life of Saint Agnes” reveals how the saint’s and the prefect’s words, and especially the commands they make, upset the objectification of Agnes that her trial and execution, as well as their roles in Roman society, would suggest. Ælfric ascribes four commands to Simpronius and three to Aspasius in reported speech, with the verb “hét” (“commanded, bade”), while he makes no indirect citations to Agnes giving commands in this way. The prefect and his deputy direct these seven commands to servants and to the crowd of Roman pagans who witness Agnes’ trial, and not to the saint herself, although she is the direct object of four of the actions commanded. Through the use of directive speech acts which Ælfric attributes both to Agnes and to Simpronius in direct discourse, however, the saint decisively establishes an authority equal to the prefect’s. The theory of speech acts that originated with John Austin and John Searle facilitates the analysis of spoken language as that language performs a variety of actions. One of five categories of speech acts in Searle’s classification, directive speech acts, often commands and requests, implies a position of power on the speaker’s part. Ælfric’s text ascribes four directives to Simpronius, and eight to Agnes.
Ælfric’s use of directives articulates the notions of power at play in the “Life of Saint Agnes.” Obviously the prefect Simpronius is in a position of power to issue commands. But he makes only four directive speech acts in this text. Agnes fulfills the command articulated in only one of the four directives that Simpronius addresses to her. When his son is struck dead in the brothel, Simpronius challenges Agnes to revive him through prayer: “þin saga bið ge-swutelod gif þu þone sylfan encgel bitst” (“Thy saying will be manifested if thou wilt pray the self-same angel,” 193). Agnes’ prayers successfully effect the prefect’s son’s restoration, after which the youth shouts praises to God and the crowd accuses Agnes of witchcraft (198-210). Because she obeys only one command that the prefect addresses to her in the text, and specifically that command that leads to a manifestation of Christ’s power, Ælfric demonstrates that Agnes’ power—which comes from God—is greater than Simpronius’—which comes from the Emperor.
Agnes makes eight directive speech acts in the text, twice as many as Simpronius. Agnes addresses only four of the directive speech acts to Simpronius that Ælfric attributes to her; she makes directives also to the prefect’s son, to her parents, and to Constantia, while one of the directives addressed to Simpronius is spoken also to the crowd of pagans who accompany the prefect’s son into the brothel. Three of the commands Agnes addresses to Simpronius cannot be fulfilled according to her beliefs. While he interrogates her and attempts to make her yield to paganism through threats of violence from the Roman gods, the saint responds “Læt þine godas geyrsian gif hi aht magon,” (“Let thy gods be angry if they can do aught,” 113) “Læt hi sylfe beodan þæt we us to him gebiddan,” (“let themselves command us to worship them,” 114) and “gif þu þis dón ne miht drece us loca hu þu wille” (“if thou canst not accomplish this, afflict us, lo! how thou wilt,” 115). Agnes’ words come less as a request for action than as an insinuation of the Roman gods’ impotence. Earlier in the text, at the point of Agnes’ first encounter with Simpronius’ son, Ælfric does not specifically state that the prefect’s son carries out the action to which her first spoken words refer, “Gewít ðu fram me synne ontendnys” (“Depart thou from me, thou fuel of sin,” 25), but Simpronius’ son immediately becomes angry and sick after Agnes rejects his overtures (63-66), so her words have the ability to affect his physical and mental state. In the brothel, after the prefect challenges Agnes to revive his son, she issues the command “Gað eow nu þeah ealle út . þæt ic mé ana gebidde.” (“Go ye now therefore all out, that I may pray alone,” 198), and the crowd immediately departs. The three remaining directives that Ælfric attributes to Agnes occur not only after Simpronius has left her in the hands of his deputy, but indeed after her martyrdom. When Agnes appears to her parents in the company of virgins, she advises her mother and father “Warniað þæt ge ne wepon me swa swa deade, ac blyssiað mid me,” (“Beware that ye weep not for me as if dead, but rejoice with me,” 255, 256). Ælfric then reports that the vision was “widely spread abroad” (260). Later, Agnes appears to Constantia in a vision, and advises her: “Ongin anrædlice ðu æðele constantia and gelyf ðæt se hælend þe ge-hælen mæge” (“Begin resolutely, thou noble Constantia, and believe that the Saviour has power to heal thee,” 274-75). Ælfric suggests through her ability to make commands even after death, and after Simpronius had been rendered unable to act, that her power is significantly greater than his, and by extension that God’s power is greater than the Emperor’s.
The author of Ælfric’s Latin source places Agnes and Simpronius in the pagan Roman social context in a text reflecting Christian notions of power and authority. Ælfric produced his translation of the text, not in the Roman social context within which Agnes and Simpronius lived, but in that of Anglo-Saxon England, which had been influenced by tenets of the Christian faith since as early as the conversion of Æthelberht of Kent in 597. The use of modal verb phrases, the balance of active and passive voice verbs, and the distribution of directive speech acts accomplish more than merely providing written testimony to the miracles that demonstrate a saint’s holiness. By incorporating a sermon on Christian notions of secular and spiritual power into his Lives of Saints through the “Life of Saint Agnes,” Ælfric demonstrates the capacity of saints’ lives to provide a forum for articulating a Christian worldview in addition to justifying the cult of saints and encouraging audiences to emulate the devotion and holiness for which these men and women have been venerated.
Works Cited
Ælfric of Eynsham. “Natale Sancte Agnetis.” Ælfric’s Lives of Saints. Ed. Walter W.
Skeat. Early English Text Society 76. London, 1881-1900. 170-187.
Foucault, Michel. “The Subject and Power.” Michel Foucault: Beyond Structuralism
and Hermeneutics. Dreyfus, Hubert, and Paul Rabinow. Chicago: UP, 1982.
208-226.
Garnsey, Peter, and Richard Saller. The Roman Empire: Economy, Society and Culture.
Berkeley: University of California Press, 1987.
Grose, M.W., and Deirdre McKenna. Old English Literature. Totowa: Rowman and
Littlefield, 1973.
St. Augustine. City of God. Translated by Henry Bettenson. New York: Penguin, 1972.
Saint Benedict. The Rule of Saint Benedict in English. Ed. Timothy Fry. New York:
Vintage, 1998.
Searle, John R. Expression and Meaning: Studies in the Theory of Speech Acts. New
York: Cambridge UP, 1979.
Tacitus. “The Annals.” The Complete Works of Tacitus. Trans. Alfred Church and
William Brodribb. New York: The Modern Library, 1942. 3-416.
Treharne, Elaine. Old and Middle English: An Anthology. Malden: Blackwell, 2000.
Vita Sanctæ Agnetis
Vita Sanctæ Agnetis. Acta Sanctorum. Vol. 2. Ed. Joannes Bollandus. Paris: V. Palme, 1863. 715-18.
Vita Sanctæ Agnetis is the fifth century Latin source for Ælfric of Eynsham’s Natale Sancte Agnetis. Ælfric follows the traditional but erroneous attribution of this text to Saint Ambrose of Milan (c 340–4 April 397), but scholars have dated its composition to the fifth century, after Ambrose's lifetime (Denomy, Alexander Joseph. The Old French Lives of Saint Agnes and Other Vernacular Versions of the Middle Ages. Cambridge: Harvard UP, 1938.). Ælfric's Old English translation is collected in Ælfric’s Lives of Saints, which was edited for the Early English Text Society by Walter.W. Skeat.
This transcript of Vita Sanctæ Agnetis does not include the extensive editorial notes from Acta Sanctorum.
Vita Sanctæ Agnetis is the fifth century Latin source for Ælfric of Eynsham’s Natale Sancte Agnetis. Ælfric follows the traditional but erroneous attribution of this text to Saint Ambrose of Milan (c 340–4 April 397), but scholars have dated its composition to the fifth century, after Ambrose's lifetime (Denomy, Alexander Joseph. The Old French Lives of Saint Agnes and Other Vernacular Versions of the Middle Ages. Cambridge: Harvard UP, 1938.). Ælfric's Old English translation is collected in Ælfric’s Lives of Saints, which was edited for the Early English Text Society by Walter.W. Skeat.
This transcript of Vita Sanctæ Agnetis does not include the extensive editorial notes from Acta Sanctorum.
VITA
S. AGNETIS
AUCTORE S. AMBROSIO
CAPUT I.
CAPUT I.
S. Agnes P.V. filio nubere recusat.
Servus Christi Ambrosius Virginibus sacris.
Diem festum sanctissimæ Virginis celebremus. Hinc psalmi resonent, inde concrepent lectiones. Hinc populorum turbæ lætentur, inde subleventur pauperes Christi. Omnes ergo gratulemur in Domino, et ad ædificationem Virginum, qualiter passa sit Agnes beatissima, ad memoriam revocemus. Tertiodecimo ætatis suæ anno mortem perdidit, et vitam invenit, quia solum vitæ dilexit auctorem. Infantia computabatur in annis, sed erat senectus mentis immensa: corpore quidem juvencula, sed animo cana; pulchra facie, sed pulchrior fide.
2. Quæ dum a scholis reverteretur, a Præfecti Urbis filio adamatur. Cujus parentes cum requisisset et invenisset, cœpit offerre plurima et plura promittere. Denique detulerat secum pretiosissima ornamenta, quæ a B. Agne veluti quædam sunt stercora recusata. Unde factum est, ut juvenis majori perurgeretur amoris stimulo. Et putans eam meliora velle accipere ornamenta, omnem lapidum pretiosorum secum defert gloriam: et per seipsum, et per amicos et notos et affines cœpit aures Virginis appellare; divitias, domos, possessiones, familias, atque omnes mundi delicias promittere, si consensum suum ejus conjugio non negaret.
3. Ad hæc B. Agnes tale fertur juveni dedisse responsum: Discede a me fomes peccati, nutrimentum facinoris, pabulum mortis: discede a me, quia ab alio jam amatore præventa sum, qui mihi satis meliora teobtulit ornamenta, et annulo, fidei suæ subarrhavit me, longe te nobilior et genere et dignitate. Ornavit inæstimabili dextrochirio dexteram meam, et collum meum cinxit lapidibus pretiosis: tradidit auribus meis inæstimabiles margaritas, et circumdedit me vernantibus atque coruscantibus gemmis. Posuit signum suum super faciem meam, ut nullum præter ipsum amatorem admittam. Induit me cyclade auro texta, et immensis monilibus ornavit me. Ostendit mihi thesauros incomparabiles, quos mihi se donaturum repromisit si ei perseveravero. Non ergo potero ad contumeliam prioris amatoris vel adspicere alium, et illum derelinquere, cum quo sum caritate devincta: cujus est generositas celsior, possibilitas fortior, adspectus pulchrior, amor suavior, et omni gratia elegantior: a quo mihi jam thalamus collocatus est, cujus mihi organa modulatis vocibus resonant, cujus mihi virgines justissimis vocibus cantant. Jam mel et lac ex ore ejus sascepi: jam amplexibus ejus castis adstricta sum: jam corpus ejus corpori meo sociatum est, et sanguis ejus ornavit genas meas. Cujus mater virgo est, cujus pater feminam nescit. Cui Angeli serviunt, cujus pulchritudinem sol et luna mirantur: cujus orore reviviscunt mortui, cujus tactu foventur infirmi: cujus opes numquam deficiunt, cujus divitiæ non decrescunt. Ipsi soli servo fidem. Ipsi me tota devotione committo. Quem cum amavero, casta sum; cum tetigero, munda sum; cum accepero, virgo sum. Nec deerunt post nuptias filii, ubi partus sine dolore succedit, et fœcunditas quotidiana cumulatur.
4. Audiens hæc insanus juvenis, amore carpitur cæco, et inter angustias animi et corporis, anhelo cruciatur spiritu. Inter hæc lecto prosternitur, et per alta suspiria amor a medicis aperitur. Fiunt nota patri, quæ fuerant inventa a medicis; et eadem paterna voce, quæ fuerant jam dicta a filio, ad petitionem Virginis revolvuntur. Abnegat Agnes beatissima, et se nullo pacto asserit prioris sponsi fœdera violare. Cumque pater diceret, in fascibus constitutum se præfecturam agere, et idcirco sibi, quamvis illustrissimum, minime debere præferre; cœpit tamen vehementer inquirere, quis esset sponsus, de cujus se Agnes potestate jactaret. Tunc extitit quidam ex parasitis ejus, qui diceret hanc Christianam esse ab infantia, et magicis artibus ita occupatam, ut dicat Christum sponsum suum esse.
5. Audiens hæc Præfectus lætus efficitur, et missa apparitione cum ingenti strepitu suis eam tribunalibus præcipit sisti. Et primo quidem blandis eam sermonibus secretius provocat, deinde terroribus pulsat. Sed Christi Virgo nec blandimentis seducitur, nec terrore concutitur: sed eodem vultu, eodemque animo perseverans, et terrentem similiter, sicut et blandientem, animo deridebat. Videns itaque Symphronius Præfectus tantam in puella constantiam, parentes ejus alloquitur. Et quia erant nobiles, et vim eis inferre non poterat, titulum eis Christianitatis opposuit. Sequenti namque die Agnen sibi præsentari jubet, et iterum iterumque repetens, cœpit replicare de juvenis amore sermonem. Cumque omnis sermo ejus casso labore deficeret, sisti eam iterum suis tribunalibus jussit; cui et dixit: Superstitio Christianorum, de quorum te magicis artibus jactas, nisi a te fuerit segregata, non poteris insaniam abjicere pectoris, neque æquissimis consiliis præbere consensum. Unde te ad venerandam Deam Vestam properare necesse est, ut si tibi perseverantia virginitatis placet, ejus die noctuque sacrificiis venerandis insistas.
6. Ad hæc B. Agnes dixit: Si filium tuum, quamvis iniquo amore vexatum, tamen viventem hominem, recusavi, hominem utique, que est rationis capax, qui et audire, et videre, et palpare, et ambulare potest, et fulgore lucis hujus cum bonis perfrui; si ergo hunc, caussa amoris Christi, nulla possum ratione respicere, quomodo possum idola muta et surda et sine sensu et sine anima colere, et ad injuriam summi Dei cervices meas vanis lapidibus inclinare? Audiens hæc Symphronius Præfectus dixit: Cupio consultum esse infantiæ tuæ, et adhuc te Deos blasphemantem idcirco differo, quia annos tuos infra sensum adspicio. Noli ergo temetipsam ita despicere, ut motus Deorum incurras. B. Agnes dixit: Noli infantiam corporalem ita in me despicere, ut putes me te velle habere propitium. Fides enim non in annis, sed in sensibus, geritur: et Deus omnipotens mentes magis comprobat, quam ætates. Deos autem tuos, quorum me motus incurrere non vis, ipsos irasci permitte: ipsi loquantur, ipsi hoc mihi præcipiant, ipsi jubeant se coli, ipsi jubeant se adorari. Verum quoniam ad hoc video te tendere, quod impetrare non poteris, quicquid tibi videtur, exerce.
CAPUT II.Lupanari flammisque superior, gladio percutitur.
Symphronius Præfectus dixit: Unum tibi e duobus elige, aut cum virginibus Deæ Vestæ sacrifica, aut cum meretricibus scortaberis in contubernio lupanari. Et longe erunt a te Christiani, qui te ita magicis artibus imbuerunt, ut hanc calamitatem intrepido animo te perferre posse confidas. Unde, ut dixi, aut sacrifica Deæ Vestæ ad laudem generis tui, aut ad ignominiam natalium tuorum, eris publicæ abjectionis scotum. Tunc B. Agnes cum ingenti constantia dixit: Si scires quis est Deus meus, non ista ex tuo ore proferres. Unde ego quia novi virtutem Domini mei Jesus Christi, secura contemno minas tuas, credens quod neque sacrificem idolis tuis, neque polluar sordibus alienis. Mecum enim habeo custodem corporis mei Angelum Domini. Nam unigenitus Dei filius, quem ignoras, murus est mihi impenetrabilis; et custos mihi est numquam dormiens, et defensor mihi est numquam deficiens. Dii autem tui, aut ærei sunt, ex quibus cucumæ melius fiunt ad usus hominum; aut lapidei, ex quibus plateæ ad evadendum lutum melius sternuntur. Divinitas ergo non in lapidibus vanis habitat, sed in cœlis; non in ære, aut aliquo metallo, sed in regno consistit superno. Tu autem et similes tui, nisi ab istorum cultu recesseritis, similis vos pœna concludet. Sicut enim illi igne conflati sunt ut funderentur, sic colentes eros perpetuo incendio conflabuntur: non ut fundantur, sed ut confundantur in æternum, et pereant.
8. Ad hæc insanus Judex jussit eam expoliari, et nudam ad lupanar duci sub voce præconius discentis, Agnen virginem sacrilegam Diis blasphemiam inferentem, scortum lupanaribus datam. Statim autem ut expoliata est, crine resoluto, tantam densitatem capillis ejus divina gratia concessit, ut melius videretur eorum fimbriis quam vestibus tecta. Ingressa autem turpitudinis locum, Angelum Domini illic præparatum invenit, ut circumdaret eam immenso lumine, ita ut nullus posset eam præ splendore nec contingere nec videre. Fulgebat enim tota cella illa, quasi radians sol in virtute sua: et quanto quis curiosior oculis esse voluisset, tanto sibi visus acies obtundebatur. Cumque se in orationem Domino prostravisset, apparuit ante oculos ejus stola candidissima. Et apprehendens eam induit se, et dixit: Gratias tibi ago Domine Jesu Christe, qui me in numero ancillarum tuarum computans, vestem hanc mihi largiri præcipisti. Ita namque ad mensuram corpusculi ejus aptum erat indumentum, et ita nimio candore conspicuum, ut nullus dubitaret hoc non nisi Angelicis manibus præparatum.
9. Interea lupanar locus orationis efficitur: in quo omnis, qui fuisset ingressus, adoraret et veneraretur et dans honorem immenso lumini, mundior egrederetur foras, quam fuerat intus ingressus. Cumque hæc agerentur, Præfecti filius, qui auctor erat hujus sceleris, venit ad locum cum sodalibus suis juvenculis, quasi insultaturus puellæ, cum quibus libidinis suæ se posse credebat ludibrium exercere. Et ingressos ante se furentes pueros et turpiter sævientes, videns cum omni veneratione et ingenti admiratione egressos, cœpit impotens arguere, atque vanos et molles ac miseros judicare. Et irridens eos, locum, in quo Virgo orabat, audacter ingressus est. Et videns tantum lumen circa eam, non dedit honorem Deo: sed irruens in ipsum lumen, priusquam vel manu eam contingeret, cecidit in faciem suam, et præfocatus a diabolo, expiravit. Videntes autem socii ejus, quod moras intus innecteret, putabant obscœnis eum operibus occupari. Et ingressus est unus de juvenibus, qui ei familiarior erat, quasi ut congratularetur insultationi ejus: et mortuum eum inveniens, exclamavit voce magna, dicens: Piissimi Romani succurrite, Magicis artibus ista meretrix Præfecti filium interfecit.
10. Fit repente concursus populorum ad theatrum et varia furentis populi acclamatio. Alii dicebant magam, alii innocentem, alii sacrilegam conclamabant. Præfectus autem audiens filium suum interisse, cum ingenti tumultu et luctu venit ad theatrum. Et ingressus locum in quo corpus filii ejus jacebat exanime, cum ingenti clamore dicebat beatissimæ Virgini: Crudelissima omnium feminarum, in filium meum voluisti apodixin tuæ artis magicæ demonstrare? Et cum talia, atque alia hujuscemodi verba repeteret, et caussas mortis ejus ab ea vehementer inquireret, ait ad eum beatissima Agnes: Ille, cujus voluntatem volebat perficere, ipse in eum potestatem accepit. Quare autem omnes qui ad me ingressi sunt, sani sunt? Quia universi dederunt honorem Deo, qui mihi misit Angelum suum, qui et induit me hoc indumento misericordiæ, et custodivit corpus meum, quod ab ipsis cunabulis Christo consecratum est et oblatum. Videntes ergo splendorem Angelicum, adorabant omnes, et abscedebant illæsi. Hic autem impudens statim ut ingressus est, sævire cœpit et fremere; cumque manum suam ad me contingendam aptaret, dedit eum Angelus Domini in reprobam, quam conspicis, mortem. Dicit ei Præfectus: In hoc apparebit, quia non magicis artibus ista gessisti, si deprecata fueris ipsum Angelum ut restituat mihi filium meum sanum. Cui B. Agnes dixit: Licet fides vestra hoc impetrare non mereatur a Domino, tamen qui tempus est, ut virtus Domini mei Jesu Christi manifestetur; egredimini omnes foras, ut solitam ei orationem offeram. Cumque universi fuissent egressi, prosternens se in faciem plorans rogare cœpit Dominum, ut juvenem suscitaret. Orante autem illa, apparuit Angelus Domini, qui elevavit eam flentem, et confortans animum ejus, juvenem suscitavit. Qui egressus foras, cœpit voce publica clamare et dicere: Unus est Deus in cœlo, et in terra, et in mari, qui est Deus Christianorum. Nam omnia templa vana sunt; dii qui coluntur, omnes vani sunt, et penitus nec sibi possunt, nec aliis aliquod auxilium exhibere.
11. Ad hanc vocem omnes aruspices, et templorum Pontifices conturbantur, et fit per eos vehementior, quam fuerat, seditio populorum. Atque omnes una voce clamabant: Tolle magam, tolle malificiam, quæ et mentes immutat, et animos alienat. Præfectus autem videns tanta mirabilia, obstupuit. Sed veritus proscriptionem, si contra templorum Pontifices ageret, et Agnen contra suas sententias defensaret; Vicarium ad seditionem populi Judicem dereliquit. Ipse autem tristis abscessit, quod eam non potuit post suscitationem filii sui liberare. Tunc Vicarius, Aspasius nomine, jussit in conspectu omnium ignem copiosum accendi, et in medium eam præcepit jactari flammarum. Quod cum fuisset impletum, statim in duas partes divisæ sunt flammæ et hinc atque illinc seditiosos populos exurebant, ipsam autem B. Agnen penitus in nullo contingebat incendium. Eo magis hoc non virtutibus divinis, sed malificiis deputantes, dabant fremitus inter se populi, et infinitos clamores ad cœlum. Tunc B. Agnes expandens manus suas in medio ignis his verbis orationem fudit ad Dominum: Omnipotens, adorande, colende, tremende, Pater Domini nostri Jesu Christi, benedico te, quia per filiuum tuum unigenitum evasi minas hominum impiorum et spuricitias diaboli impolluto calle transivi. Ecce et nunc per Spiritum sanctum rore cœlesti perfusa sum: focus juxta me moritur, flamma dividitur, et ardor incendii hujus ad eos, a quibus ministratur refunditur. Benedico te, Pater prædicande, qui etiam inter flammas intrepidam me ad te pervenire permittis. Ecce jam quod credidi, video; quod speravi, jam teneo; quod concupivi, complector. Te confiteor labiis, te corde, te totis visceribus concupisco. Ecce ad te venio unum et verum Deum; qui cum Dominio nostro Jesu Christo filio tuo, et cum Spiritu sancto, vivis et regnas in cuncta secula seculorum. Amen.
12. Cumque complesset orationem, ita omnis ignis extinctus est, ut nec tepor quidem incendii remaneret. Tunc Aspasius, Urbis Romæ Vicarius, populi seditionem non ferens, in guttur ejus gladium mergi præcepit. Atque hoc exitu roseo sui sanguinis rubore perfusam. Christus sibi sponsam et Martyrem consecravit.
CAPUT III.S. Emerentianæ cædes. Constantiæ conversio.
Parentes vero ejus, nullam penitus tristitiam habentes, cum omni gaudio abstulerunt corpus ejus, et posuerunt illud in prædiolo suo, non longe ab Urbe, in via quæ dicitur Numentana. Ubi cum omnis turba Christianorum concurreret, insidias a paganis perpessi sunt: et videntes populum infidelium supervenientem armatum, omnes fugerunt. Aliquanti tamen lapidum ictibus læsi evaserunt. Emerentiana autem, quæ fuerat collactanea ejus, virgo sanctissima, licet catechumena, constanter stabat intrepida et immobilis, et his verbis exprobrabat eis: Superflui, miseri, caduci atque atrocissimi, eos qui Deum omnipotentem colunt occiditis, et pro defensione lapidum homines innocentes jugulatis. Hæc et his similia dum turbis furentibus diceret, lapidata est ab eis, et orans juxta sepulchrum Agnetis beatissimæ emisit spiritum. Unde non dubinum est quod in suo sanguine sit baptizata, quæ pro defensione justitiæ, dum confiteretur Dominum, mortem constanter excepit. Eadem denique hora fit terræ mortus vehementissimus: et cum nimia esset cœli serenitas, tantæ coruscationes, tantaque fulgura et tonitrua extiterunt ut pars maxima insani populi expiraret. Unde factum est ut nullus penitus ex eo advenientibus ad sepulcra Sanctorum, aliquas molestias excitaret. Venientes autem parentes B. Agnetis cum Sacerdotibus nocte, abstulerunt corpus sanctæ Virginis Emerentianæ, et sepelierunt illud in confinio agelli beatissimæ Virginis Agnetis.
14. Cum igitur parentes B. Agnetis assiduis pernoctationibus vigilarent ad tumulum ejus, vident in medio noctis silentio exercitum Virginum, quæ omnes auro textis cycladibus indutæ cum ingenti lumine præteribant: inter quas vident beatissimam Agnetem simili veste fulgentem, et ad dextram ejus agnum stantem nive candidiorem. Hæc itaque dum viderent parentes ejus, et qui simul erant, quasi stuporem mentis incurrunt. Sed B. Agnes rogat sanctas Virgines parumper gradum figere, et stans parentibus suis dixit: Videre ne me quasi mortuam lugeatis: sed congaudete mihi, et congratulamini, quia cum his omnibus lucidas sedes accepi, et illi sum juncta in cœlis, quem in terris posita, tota animi intentione dilexi. Et his dictis pertransiit.
15. Hæc visio publice ad omnibus qui viderant, quotidie vulgabatur. Unde factum est, ut post aliquantos annos ad Constantiam Constantini Augusti filiam hoc factum ab his qui viderant narraretur. Erat enim ipsa Constantia Regina, Virgo prudentissima, sed ita obsessa vulneribus, ut a capite usque ad pedes nulla membrorum pars libera remanisisset. Accepto autem consilio, spe recuperandæ salutis, venit ad tumulum Martyris nocte: et licet pagana, tamen credula animi intentione preces fideliter fundebat. Quod dum faceret repentina somni suivitate corripitur, et videt per visum beatissimam Agnetem, talia sibi monita proferentem: Constanter age Constantia, et crede Dominum Jesum Christum filium Dei esse Salvatorem tuum, per quem modo consequeris omnium vulnerum, quae in corpore tuo pateris, sanitatem. Ad hanc vocem Constantia evigilat sana, ita ut nec signum, in ejus membris alicujus vulneris remaneret.
16. Reversa igitur ad palatium sanissima, facit gaudium et patri Augusto, et fratribus suis Imperatoribus. Coronatur civitas tota: fit lætitia militantibus, et privatis, atque universis audientibus hæc. Infidelitas gentium confundebatur, et fides Dominica lætabatur. Interea patrem et fratres Augustos rogat, ut basilica B. Agnetis construeretur, et sibi illic mausoleum collocari præcipit. Currit hæc opinio ad omnes, et quotquot credentes ad ejus tumulum advenissent, salvabantur, quacumque fuissent infirmitate detenti. Quod facere Christum nullus amigat usque in hodierum diem. Perseveravit autem Constantia, Constantini Augusti filia in virginitate: per quam multæ virgines, et mediocres, et nobiles, et illustres, sacra velamina susceperunt. Et quia fides mortis damna non patitur, usque in hodiernum diem multæ Virgines Romanæ Agnetem beatissimam, quasi in corpore manentem, attendunt; et ejus exemplo provocatæ, viriliter integræ perseverant, credentes sine dubio, quod perseverantes perpetuæ victoriæ palmam acquirant.
17. Hæc ego Ambrosius servus Christi, dum in voluminibus abditis invenissem scripta, non sum passus infructuoso silentio tegi. Ad honorem igitur tantæ Martyris, sicut gesta ejus agnovi, conscripsi: et ad ædificationem vestram, o Virgines Christi, textum passionis ejus credidi destinandum, obsecrans caritatem Spiritus sancti, ut labor noster in vestra imitatione fructum in conspectu Domini valeat invenire. Amen.
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